Friday, July 11, 2008

Entry #8

Running Psych-Oh
by Sandra Seamans


Blurs of neon freak through my brain whipping up psycho delectable dreams that would panic the sexy psychedelic cowboy whose headlights funnel us through the dark tunnels of the night.

My cowboy believes the Harley between his legs gives him control over the wind and time and life expectancies. His precious curves of metal and motor oil stroke his ego, fanning his belief that he is king of his own little world. But I wonder, did the Harley know what she was doing when she allowed him to stop and give this fading shadow of a woman a lift?

My arms cradle his waist as the wind brushes my thoughts free of the pale satin ribbons that bound my mind tightly to my chastity-belted beliefs. Freedom. So long denied in a loveless marriage to a pig of a bible thumping man. The crooning cowboy in front of me is a pale shadow of the one I left behind, lying in a pool of his own blood. I wonder. Should I do some other lonely lady a favor? Will the freedom loving Harley allow one last act of unbridled passion on her saddled back?

I lift my arms toward the sky and roar into the night, “Freedommmmm.” Then my knife slides with the delectable ease of the flying Harley across his throat and the night crashes inward on our racing bodies.

23 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

I never thought to tell it from the point of view of a hitchhiker. Well done. Bravo.

Anonymous said...

So very dark! The feelings of the woman jump right out and keep the reader on edge. My favorite line is 'His precious curves of metal and motor oil stroke his ego, fanning his belief that he is king of his own little world.' Every guy/gal I know that loves their Harley gives off this persona. Very nice work!

Havasu Sharon said...

So very dark! The feelings of the woman jump right out and keep the reader on edge. My favorite line is 'His precious curves of metal and motor oil stroke his ego, fanning his belief that he is king of his own little world.' Every guy/gal I know that loves their Harley gives off this persona. Very nice work!

Bernita said...

Absolutely marvellous lines, Sandra.

Sarah Hina said...

Strong, gutsy writing. Loved it.

The stream of consciousness feel really fit their night flying. Great, sinister poetry to this one, in addition to strong, dark characters. Fantastic work! One of my favorites.

wrath999 said...

Cool and very dark (love it). Very well done.

'Should I do some other lonely lady a favor?' Great forshawdowing. Scary lady!

BernardL said...

Wow, there's an exclamation point for the old warning 'don't pick up hitchhikers. :)

J.C. Montgomery said...

I guess freedom always has a price...for the one getting it, and the one giving it...willingly or not.

JaneyV said...

So many great, great lines here. Passionate and very disturbing - a fantastic glimpse into the warped mind of a victim turned perpetrator.

You conveyed so much in so few words. Amazing!

Beth said...

I love dark and disturbing so it's not surprise how I feel about this one. "Chastity-belted beliefs." Best phrase I've read thus far.

K. Lawson Gilbert said...

Wow, Sandra! That first line is really gutsy..and does it ever work.
Good use of language. The story is chilling.

September said...

Ohhh...dark. Evil woman. Makes you not want to pick up a hitchhiker.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

She's one scary woman!

Very well narrated.

24crayons said...

Very disturbing, which means awesome coming from me!

Wannabe Writer said...

Great story. I loved the darkness of it all. -Rita

Scott said...

This almost had a def poetry feel, the lyrical quality of the words.

Dottie said...

I love the way you portrayed her sexuality reawakening right before she does herself and the Harley rider in. Great writing and I like her voice.

Aerin said...

I have to admit, I passed this one over first time, and boy would that have been a mistake. This is incredible. My favorite character is the Harley: feminine power or psychosis???? Very twilight zone.

laughingwolf said...

very nicely done, sandra... creepy seals the deal....

sandra said...

Thanks so much everyone!! I had a great time coming up with this story. Jason's pictures are such fun to write a story for.

Aine said...

Yikes! Perhaps freedom is the root of all evil?!
;)

I love that the photo generated a "sexy psychedelic cowboy." :)

Creative perspective, telling from a hitchhiker's POV.

jason evans said...

Whoa. Never pick a hitchhiker on a bike. Never. I really like the viciousness in her description of her life. Good storytelling.

sandra said...

Thanks Jason and Aine. That picture really brought back the sixties for me, probably why I got so carried away with the psychedelic theme. thanks so much for the great picture and the wonderful contest.