Friday, November 14, 2008

When...



He breathed on your neck.

And your lips parted.

He brushed your skin there. A kiss. And the chill ice-skated to the roots of your brushed back hair.

Liquid mercury raced when he squeezed you.

Pooling its hot weight.

And when the most delicate death begged to drop you at the knees...

you--


(The end, you remember. Take a moment to float there and remind yourself what it is to live.)

(And for the guys, you know what to do.)

11 comments:

Vesper said...

Jason, you made my day! :-)

yes... a most delicate death...

Aine said...

Yes, I do remember....
(thanks for making me blush)
;)

Sarah Hina said...

Wow...those leaves. Yeah, the leaves. ;)

I like this experiment. The voice of memory brushing the ear. Sliding the past into the present...making it live again. And how.

Ello said...

Very nice. I love the photo. Man could you get it any more alive looking? I feel like I could reach out and touch the moist dew on the leaves.

And wow. simply wow. I'm in the library and it is quite chilly. And yet suddenly, I'm warm.

Charles Gramlich said...

Very evocative. And I love the photo too.

jason evans said...

Vesper, and thank you for helping to make my day with your comment!

Aine, the more blushes the better. ;)

Sarah, arent't those leaves pretty?? Ahem. Thanks for the kind words on my little experiment. I'm glad the crossover carried a potency.

Ello, it was a warm and rich morning I took that photo. :) And as for the heat circulating in the library...perfect!

Charles, thanks, my friend.

dbalehane said...

One can almost smell the freshness of that photo and feel the inimacy of those words. Beautiful in both contexts.

wordtryst said...

Came to visit, noticed the YouTube link and got lost over there. Loving the night drive video!

Lovely photo. As for the words... Yes, the living times.

Geraldine said...

Tres sexy Jason!
Oh la...la...

and blush indeed.

Aine, you are a lucky woman!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

How very sensual and beautifully descriptive. I loved the pithiness of this - you made every word count. That is what excellent writers do. I thought the open ended-ness was a great technique. Good work, Jason. Photograph is amazing.

jason evans said...

Dbalehane, thank you for the kind words! As writers, I suppose we're always trying to make the words fall away.

Wordtryst, glad you enjoyed visiting me over on YouTube! Thanks for the compliment on Night Drive. :)

Geraldine, what a nice thing to say!!! :) Thanks. ;)

Kaye, you've nailed each element of what I set out to do. :) Thanks! I wanted the descriptions few, but intensely evocative. Then, I wanted to hand it over to the reader completely.