Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Entry #1

Crush
by BernardL

Jake stepped off the escalator. His right lower pant’s hem caught at the step edge, sending him sprawling. The teenager heard catcalls and laughter from the teenagers passing by. He pushed himself up onto his knees.

“Are you okay, Jake?”

Jake twisted to his left, looking up with surprise into Cassie Loring’s concerned blue eyes as she put a hand on his left arm, auburn hair spilling down to frame her face.

“Not hurt, just clumsy, but thanks for checking,” Jake regained his feet hurriedly. He’d daydreamed about Cassie since fourth grade. Not being a jock, cool, or even a nerd, Jake figured Cassie to be unaware he was alive.

“I’m glad I ran into you,” Cassie said, looking up at Jake hesitantly, her hand still on his arm. “Would you go with me to the Y-teens formal?”

Jake’s mouth tightened. He looked around waiting for laughter; but no one was near them except the people walking off the escalator.

“If you’ve been asked already, I understand,” Cassie added quickly, blushing and pulling her hand away. “Sorry if…”

“No, I’m just … well… you know… surprised,” Jake admitted. “You’re a cheerleader, and…”

“You’re a shop rat,” Cassie giggled. “You spend every spare moment after school, and weekends, at your Dad’s repair shop. So, will you go with me?”

“Yes… of course,” Jake answered, reaching to take her hand again. “I…I’ve had a crush on you since fourth grade.”

“I know,” Cassie answered simply, reaching up to stroke Jake’s cheek.

39 comments:

Lena said...

that was one lovely piece, so cute :)

Aggie said...

Hmm I hope it doesn't turn into a set up ... lol.

JaneyV said...

So sweet. This is so heartwarming Bernard. I love teen stories that aren't all mean and angsty. Nice one.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Awww!That was cute,not to mention well written :)

wrath999 said...

Very well done. An picture of innocence

Geraldine said...

I was so hoping that Cassie wasn't going to burst his bubble. Nice ending!

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

Sarah Hina said...

I really enjoyed the easy, natural flow of this. Those small gestures can give us the greatest lift.

There was a refreshing honesty to both of them, and a lovely awkwardness. Well captured!

peggy said...

This is really a sweet story, very refreshing :)

Anonymous said...

Nice, smooth read. Good to know the underdog gets the girl!

laughingwolf said...

well done, bernard! :)

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Loved it...and glad he wasn't injured - (Okay, it's the mother in me). Well written.

j.c. montgomery said...

I love how you show, without actually saying it, how someone who is thought to care only about appearances and popularity is attracted to the one who she knows won't judge her like others do, who will like her for her - and always has.

Beautiful tale.

Ruinwen said...

The charm of this piece really shines through the innocence of your characters. :)

Leatherdykeuk said...

Sweet piece.

BernardL said...

Thank you all for your very kind comments. They are very much appreciated.

sawan said...

wow, nice piece of story! felt real to me!! good one Bernard .

Aerin said...

Awwwwwww...very sweet

one more believer said...

ahh, i'm a sucker for anything romantic... imagine, that she would have known all this time... lovely...

Patsy said...

You've captured his lack of cinfidence very well.

Chris Eldin said...

Awww! This is a sweet moment. I agree with the other poster who said it's a nice departure from reading about teenage angst.
Good one!!

BernardL said...

Thanks again for taking the time to comment. :)

Senorita said...

sweet story...you weave magic :)

Ello said...

That was so sweet!

Tina said...

Awww! :D How cute :)

Vesper said...

What a sweet, delightful, heartwarming story, Bernard! Well done!

(I'm sorry I'm so late in posting a comment...)

RiverSoul said...

Beautifully written.
:)
Best of luck to you
:)

Tiffany said...

Sweet story. Wish I could read more.

Selma said...

I do like it when the underdog prevails. Bravo!!

September said...

sweet and innocent love....
loved it.

BernardL said...

Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

C.A. Riddell said...

Enjoyed this a lot. Good, upbeat ending, skilful use of the promp and the 250 word limit. Thanks for the read.

bluesugarpoet said...

Very sweet story! I really liked this one. :) - jana

Terry said...

Oh, the horror of falling on your face in front of The Girl! This story took me back to a sweeter time. I especially liked the bit, "Not being a jock, cool, or even a nerd..." I read that sentence several times, savoring.

Scott said...

Ah, oui! Lamour!

If only life were so dreamy.

Catvibe said...

Sweet!

Prashant Dhanke said...

This is sure to bring a smile to anyone who reads it. Cute :).

ceedy said...

:)....

Aniket Thakkar said...

That was really cute... spreading smiles all the way! :) :) :)

jason evans said...

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!