The Reunion
by Rebecca Reid
“Hey, there’s Daddy!” She tugged my arm.
I saw his head first. His right arm rested on the railing, calm, waiting. No pressure, no anxiety.
I exhaled.
One foot before the other and he was before me. I tried to focus on his eyes, his face. I searched for words to speak.
“Hi.” His body leaned toward mine and I felt his kiss on my forehead. His arm grasped my shoulder and then he released me.
“Hi.”
The child was chattering. And bouncing around us. His free arm rested on her shoulder. We walked. People bumped me as they passed.
I heard him speak. First to our girl. Then to a man near us as we reached for the suitcase.
We walked again. I stopped and zipped the girl’s coat, despite her protests. And then he was driving and she was babbling about princesses. I sat beside him.
A right turn. A stop sign. The highway. We were moving. He grasped my hand. He wouldn’t let go.
“I …” I couldn’t speak; I was dry. I had done my crying alone when I realized the baby was lost.
He glanced at me, and I saw his eyes were wet. He spoke, the corners of his mouth turned in a half-smile.
“I love you.”
The flood overwhelmed me as it had two nights before. But this time I was hopeful, for we could still go on.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
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16 comments:
Moving piece.Good one :)
Nice clean, crisp sentences. Isn't funny how escalators remind us of departures and reunions?
Initially, I thought it was going to be a sad ending because he seemed so cold, so disinterested. Instead, I found he was choked by emotion. Very nice!
This one really kept me reading. Nice structure.
hope springs eternal...
I like the subtlety in this one.
So touching. Brought tears to my eyes.
This made me tear up....sad and sweet. Big story in a few words.
I felt like I was right there with her. That awful, numb haze of not knowing what the other is thinking. He came through for her, though. And my heart melted with her.
Nice job!
Touching. I liked the child being kind of oblivious to the emotions of the parents, and the feeling of movement throughout the piece. Well done.
I really appreciated the pacing and effortless unfolding of the story. So little was said, and that made it all the more immense.
A tragic loss doesn't have to be an end. It can bring us closer, too. Very moving story, Rebecca, and the writing was strong and assured. Excellent work.
A very moving piece Rebecca! We all crave for second chances... But only some are blessed enough to get them!
i luvd the way you expressed it! Beautiful job Rebecca. Keep writing!
pulling at our heartstrings again...beautiful...good work
Great job with pacing, entertainment value, technical skill, storytelling, and voice! And welcome to the Forties Club!!
Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest.
Thanks for your comments everyone! I appreciate your encouragement.
JR's Thumbprints, yes, it's strange, I saw the picture and thought immediately of airport escalators.
Selma, "cold and distant" is what I thought when I saw the picture.
Karen, I'm glad it kept you reading!
McKoala, I'm glad the subtelty worked for you!
Aine, I'm glad the "numb haze" came through for you! That's what I was aiming for!
Catvibe, yes, I think kids are rather oblivious to those kinds of tragedies. I'm glad the movement worked for you.
Sarah Hina, thanks for your kind words. I was hoping that it would end with a feeling of hope.
jason evans, thanks for the honor and thanks for hosting such a wonderful contest!
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