Friday, January 09, 2009

Entry #35

Ascension
by Vic Pires


Up, up, up.

The clunking metal stairs moved forwards one by one. I waited at the bottom of the escalator as people pushed past me, stilettoed boots and frayed jeans waiting on those stairs as they climbed their way through the mall. That was me one day, one day not so long ago.

Now I stood, unable to move forward, unable to go back. The scars on the skin that covered my tiny frame bore witness to the pain I felt.

The noise was deafening. Happiness hung like a thick fog in the air, its sickly sweetness choking me. Didn't these people realise that this world was not a happy place, that sadness ran like rivers rushing into waterfalls, the strength of their innocent white waters dragging me down.

It was too much. I couldn't ascend that escalator and so I turned to walk away, my legs carrying me as my mind locked itself away. I passed the shoppers, mothers with their babies on their weekday morning outings. My body barged past them as it ran to hide amongst the musty smells of the windowless bathroom, locked behind the plastic door inscribed with teenaged love notes.

The blade of the knife was cold as it slid across my skin, the red colour of its hilt not quite red enough to match the colour of the blood that seeped from my veins. And I floated, up, up, up.

13 comments:

Lena said...

that was quite unexpected.. interesting take on the theme.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Not sure if suicide is the means to ascension in life,but then circumstances can drive anyone insane.

Good take :)

Leatherdykeuk said...

Someone forgot their pills!

Good story.

sawan said...

never knew a suicide and the pain leading to it could be so beautifully described! good write up.

Sarah Hina said...

I like that you set this in a mall. For someone in such a deep depression, all of that slightness and mindless contentment could send you over the edge.

Vivid details here, too. Something about those teenaged love notes hit me with the passing of innocence. Strong writing, Vic.

JaneyV said...

You captured the panic and loneliness of your character so well. I guess for some death is a way to escape the torture of a life that is mired in this way. So lonely though to go in this way with only the teenage love notes for company.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

This is so very sad and heartbreaking - because things like this happen to our fellow humans every hour of the day. Heartrending story - well written.

laughingwolf said...

nicely done, vic :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

And here I thought your character had to go Number #2. What was I thinking?

Selma said...

I think dissatisfaction with one's life can often crystallise in a neutral, almost bland setting like a mall. You communicated so well how anxiety can just take hold and push you over the edge. Very powerful. Well done, Vic!!!

Catvibe said...

Really good job, so sad!

September said...

Oh...so sad. And makes me wonder how often I may have seen someone rushing by past me, looking sad and down....all the more reason we should smile at everyone and offer a kind word. You never know if it may change their journey...
nicely written sad story

jason evans said...

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!