Monday, January 12, 2009

Entry #59

From Dark to Light
by Ello


500 feet. That’s how long the escalator is. At least I’m riding up. Up is always preferable to down. I stay close to the right handrail, watching the brave climb past. My hand is slick but I grip the handrail tightly, trying hard not to close my eyes.

300 feet. I can see light shining above me but I don’t look up, I stare only at the worn heels of the man before me. I hate this station.

Meet Henry at Wheaton metro. It’s the only way.

200 feet. I tighten my arm over the long envelope tucked to my side. I know what it is and I shudder with guilt and fear. I’ll rot in hell for this, but I love him so much. My mouth waters and my nauseated stomach reminds me of why there is no choice.

Course I’m happy bout the baby! I love you. This is the only way I can ever be free of her.

100 feet. I can feel the warm sun. I am almost out of the dark. My feet reach the landing and I step out. Henry stands before me, intimidating, large. I hand him the envelope. He places it in his leather jacket and nods. I am relieved and head back down the escalator.

Someone’s right behind me. I look back, Henry looms too close.

He said to tell you he’s sorry.

I try to run but something trips me. I fall into darkness cursing him, hating him.

23 comments:

sandra seamans said...

Absolutely perfect!

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Hard to sympathize with her considering what she intended to do.

Well written! :)

strugglingwriter said...

Interesting story. Well written. Keeps the attention the entire piece.

Paul

Lena said...

kept me glued to it all the way through. well done! :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

I want to know what's in the envelope.

wrath999 said...

An engrossing tale. Nicely done.

BernardL said...

Well written tragic little snippet.

laughingwolf said...

this is another gem from you, el :D

Sarah Hina said...

Wow, Ell! Great, gritty take. :)

I liked the progression here. And the final plunge into darkness. Harsh ending, but very effective. I really enjoyed your tale of love and betrayal!!

McKoala said...

This is a good one; very complete.

Precie said...

Well done!

pjd said...

That last line seems like a metaphor for her whole situation.

RiverSoul said...

Beautifully written.
A gripping read.
:)
Loved the way you've gone with this story.
:)
Best of luck
:)
And thank you for reading my entry
:)

Jennifer said...

Very nice. Really makes you keep reading.

That is not the metro escalator to fall down--grisly ending!

Scott said...

I enjoyed the piece, Ello. I'm having trouble understanding what she was doing exactly, but I'm not totally sure I'm supposed to. It has a gritty noir feel to it.

JaneyV said...

She paid to have herself offed? Only you could come up with something so brilliantly dastardly. Love. It.

Ell - you rock!

Catvibe said...

Well written, I wonder what's inside the envelope. Very unfortunate ending for her.

September said...

so tragic. did she have a change of heart at the end? was she trying to kill only the baby or herself too? and how much did it cost her? ooohhh...this was good.
nicely written. everything flowed.

bluesugarpoet said...

I am a little nauseated myself, now. So well written I could taste the bile myself. Very dark! Well done!

Jana

Ÿ∂ Μ Î ŋÎ said...

500 feet, 300 feet, 100 feet.... the progression was amazing... Seems there is a lot left to the readers' imagination. Intelligent piece. :)

Vesper said...

Oh, what a dark, troubling story, Ello! Very well written, gripping.

jason evans said...

Great job with pacing, technical skill, and voice!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!

Chris Eldin said...

Tragic and well written. A complete story in such a short space, but something that could easily be turned into something larger....a