Monday, January 12, 2009

Entry #65

Nirvana
by Ceedy (Chintan Desai)


Stop.

Guiding the cabbie while referring to the SMS on his blackberry.

Take the escalator up and come straight to the glass doors.

Scanning the almost empty lobby he assured himself.

This is it.

Nervous.

Setting his long hair behind his ears and then fidgeting in his pant pocket.

He held his fingers close to his nose just as he was stepping onto the escalator.

Took a long sniff.

Twitching of his nose. Shaking his head. Pupil dilating.

His tour to fame began.

A girl ahead of him in denim was being devoured by the rolling clanging metal.

His head was pounding at every rolling move and the space around him started to spin.

He clutched the rolling rail for support. Sweat feeling like slime he looked down at his hand.

It was a python.

He was halfway there. The denim started to slide down and the girl had hairy legs.

Eyes blinking. Eyes rolling. Noise getting louder.

He looked up. The ceiling metamorphosed into clouds come down on him with bright orange stars.

He rubbed his nose with the back of his palm.

Hallucination was wearing down and he was at the top to his destined future.

Stepping off the escalator, he recollected himself. The girl in denim had disappeared.

He ran his hand through his hair. He looked at the lady appearing from behind glass doors.

You must be Burt Tobain.

Yes that’s me and the rest is history.

21 comments:

Lena said...

interesting perspective. If only that fame would bring more good than bad. But then again.. rest is all history.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Nirvana indeed!Very well written :)

peggy said...

ya had me going there, neat take on it, Nirvana indeed? LOL
good story!

harshad said...

w00t! Nirvana...awesome writing man. love the description and the hallucinations uv put in ther..

JR's Thumbprints said...

Gotta love that escalator grunge.

laughingwolf said...

good one :)

Catvibe said...

Burt Tobain...LOL! Interesting narrative, unique.

Sarah Hina said...

Vivid portrayal of his altered mind. Even while hallucinating, he still seemed somewhat numb to it all. Like none of this was enough, and all a bad joke.

Good writing, and unique take.

ceedy said...

@lena : Isn't good or bad a subjective matter...thanks!

@sameera : Thanks!

@peggy : Thanks!

@harshad : Thanks bud!

@JR : I hope you did!

@Laughing wolf : Thanks!

@Catvibe : Thanks!

@Sarah Hina : Yes many creative minds do not see the differences that are normally supposed to be adhered to - they are numb and require "sniffs" to approve of that Thanks!

one more believer said...

fame is a warm gun... ohh, thaz awful... excellent story...

JaneyV said...

Nirvana indeed. That was one crazy trip. Burt was fun to take a ride with.

Nothingman said...

the hallucinations were cool :)

LOL@hairy legs, stuff of nightmares man :P

N

ceedy said...

@one more believer

thanks you...yes fame does "wonders"

@Janey V

thank you...creative minds always take these trips ever so often

@nothingman

Thanks...glad you liked it.

Aniket Thakkar said...

Great one there mate! And this is not returning the favor! :-D Haven't got arounf to read all of them yet! And "The man who sold the world" happens to be one of my all time favorites!! Am glad someone remembered the legend Kurt Cobain! I was planning a story to dedicate to The Great Joker (late Heath Ledger) myself... but then one should not fiddle around too much with legends right! :-D

bluesugarpoet said...

Smells like...a freaky ride. Great trip! Very clever. :) - jana

Prashant Dhanke said...

You did full justice to the title . It's not easy to write about hallucinations withour getttiing caried away. Well done :).

September said...

You almost made me feel the hallucinations. (and I never have)
Good work there.

ceedy said...

@aniket

thanks mate...yup cobain is my all time fav too...

will read your story on heath ledger...

@bluesugarpoet

Thanks

@prashant dhanke

Thanks

@september

I swear I did not smoke to write this!

pjd said...

I agree with Sarah. Vivid description of a bizarre trip.

BernardL said...

Very intense piece with an all too real inner narrative of an hallucination gone bad.

jason evans said...

Great job with technical skill, storytelling, and voice!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!