Monday, January 12, 2009

Entry #69

Perks of the Job
by Lauri Kubuitsile


The Woolworth’s window reflects the knife-edge pleats in his trousers and the crimson belt cinching his waist creating the allusion of wide shoulders; Jomo nods approval. Initially the handcuffs gave him a lot of excitement, but the flash wore off. The unassuming dependability of a straight pleat and tidy red belt should not be discounted.

As he walks his circuit, security gates clang shut, one after the other. People trickle out of the mall shouting, “Tomorrow, Jomo!” until he’s alone.

His favourite time.

He walks one leg at a time of the giant X of the ground floor; up one side, down the other. Bookstore, jewellery shop, cheap clothes boutique, expensive one. Things Jomo has no use for.

The ground floor finished; it’s now time.

During the day, he only uses the stairs. Happiness should not to be squandered. He approaches it slowly, drawing out the anticipation, listening for the confident noise of it, a smooth, slight metallic clinking. Uncertainty before stepping on thrills him. Would he miss and be pulled from his feet? Not today.

Carried like a king; raised in the air. A gift given, expecting nothing in return; little of that seen in Jomo’s short life, and he is appreciative.

At the top, the machine’s innards gobble up the stairs- would he be gobbled up too? One step and he’s saved- yet again. He heads off on the first arm of the second floor’s mirrored X, smiling, for there’s still the ride down.

18 comments:

Jaye Wells said...

Your use of details and the ability to make the mundane magical are fabulous. I really enjoyed this one.

laughingwolf said...

nicely done :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

He's got to fight off boredom some how. Riding the escalator is a logical choice. Good descriptions.

Lena said...

Good use of descriptions, liked how you made details work. Nicely done :)

Lauri said...

Sorry I'm new to these contests and was not sure how it worked. Only now I've realized we're meant to read everyone's. I will try my best before the deadline but my slow dial-up is a serious drag.

Thanks for your lovely comments.

McKoala said...

Very clever; I liked this.

BernardL said...

A first class illustration of counting your blessings.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Small things in life really matter.Well described :)

wrath999 said...

Cool. The little things in life we overlook. Great visuals.

Sarah Hina said...

Lauri, I really loved his pride in simple things, and his joy in receiving the smallest pleasures. Perspective matters. Carried like a king, indeed. :)

Very nice writing, and a delightful theme. This one gave me a warm glow. :)

(Btw, you don't have to read everyone's, or comment. Just putting that out there, because a lot of people don't. Didn't want you to feel stressed about that! :))

JaneyV said...

Aw I love your security guard. I can picture him riding high on the escalator like Caesar riding on his chariot into Rome. A great feel-good piece.

B. Nagel said...

Nice. I can see Jomo's child-like wonder.

SzélsőFa said...

What a loveable sweet character Jomo is! There was definitely an air of elevated happiness around him.
Great job, Lauri!

Blessed are those who can enjoy the little pieces of the mundane as much as children do.

Selma said...

You go, girl. Such joy in this piece. Definitely one of my favourites!!!

Catvibe said...

Man, I am reading this at the end of an entire day of reading just to catch up! I still have halfway to go, so after my eyes stopped glazing over and I could finally focus, I found this piece to be entirely a delight! Really wonderful bringing him back to that childlike place of wonder in his solitude.

Margaret said...

What a lovely piece. So wonderfully written with such detail. Your story just flowed....

Loved it....

September said...

ahhh...the world of make believe. This was good.
Great descriptions. I felt like I could see into his very soul. And I liked what I saw.
Nice work.

jason evans said...

Great job with entertainment value, technical skill, and voice!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!