Friday, January 02, 2009

Love Song

If he would only take me
use me, break me
abuse me, wake me
He'd make me happy

    --Love Song, Cruel Black Dove

She washed her hands and hung her lab coat by the door. Clean and embroidered white. Her thumb throbbed from pipetting all morning. Her head creased in pressure-pain.

In the elevator, she stood taller than the assistant lab director. He strutted his Yale diploma like a cheap leather jacket. She smiled. She also smiled at the receptionist whose children recovered from the stomach flu.

Glances touched her in the streets. Men noticing, but not lingering. She left curbs before the walk sign lit.

She mingled with the lunch crowd inside the market.

Lots of motion to her stillness.

Her stare played with the neckline of a young man. He thumbed the rim of a bottle of iced tea. Echos in her mind spliced into DNA sequences. Base pairs. Unthinking. Like a machine.

Fingers twined in the hint of hair at his collar. Teeth slid over her bottom lip.

Black thoughts. Sweet venom thoughts.

Curling in.


Ripping his scent to her.

Clawing the groan from his chest.

Nails cratering skin....

She took her salad, with dressing on the side, and smiled to the cashier.

"Thank you," she said.


Catvibe said...

Man alive, you do this too well. I understand that predator, she is so close to my own heart. I couldn't get into the song, too throbbing, but I liked the images in the video with the sound off.

Sarah Hina said...

Strange, silent chemistries that are beyond any lab.

Very powerful plumbing of the song and lyrics. There is something primal at work beneath all our cool surfaces. It's not just sexual, but a desire to be incited, overturned, made to feel alive. It can grip us like the bass line in that song and shudder through our bones. And be difficult to deflect. But we usually do, of course. Not without sadness or difficulty, though. Lunch isn't all that interesting. ;)

Great writing, Jason.

Charles Gramlich said...

"Sweet Venom thoughts" indeed. Well done.

Aggie said...

I have a few sweet venomous thoughts myself now and again.

Vesper said...

I love the strong visceral feel of the song and of the vignette... Those sweet venom thoughts, so good to think...
Excellent, Jason!

Happy New Year!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

I love the absolute self-confidence she possess...the perfect prowess - her aloofness after she has fantasized....I have to get out to lunch more! ;D

Great tight writing, Jason!

JaneyV said...

I love the juxtaposition of the absolute control of the woman with the animal within - the chemist, a slave to her chemistry. This was a very visual piece Jason. I thoroughly enjoyed the fantasy.

I didn't watch the video I just read as the music played. Needless to say it was a perfect accompaniment.

I feel a little breathless now.

Happy new Year to You, Aine and the girls.

paisley said...

If he would only take me
use me, break me
abuse me, wake me
He'd make me happy

my own personal brand of love... that is one reason i steer clear......

Geraldine said...

The salad bar will never be the same LOL..good one Jason.

K9 said...

hello. i found you via walking man. about that contest, is the fiction due on january 11 or 12? i see it starts the 5th so i was thinking about giving it a shot....btw i loved your photograph of "thaw".

jason evans said...

Catvibe, this might be weird, but it meant something to me that so many people resonated with this character. These waves and currents stirring us--the surface vs. the depths, and everything in between--draw me. I feel like there is something to capture, some wisdom to learn.

Sarah, so well described. If only we were better at embracing those baselines, not judging them or being afraid or matyring ourselves not the have them, our lives would fill all the space we can imagine.

Charles, thank God there's no antidote to that venom.

Aggie, treasure them.

Vesper, Happy New Year!! I hope you can breathe more life into your secret places this year.

Kaye, I'm fascinated by how her supreme politeness and confidence is incomplete. The person she wishes to be is more primal. A different kind of perfection. Or maybe no perfection at all.

Janey, yes, you've sensed that schism in her. I'm glad you read it with the music playing! It really captures the storms in her mind.

Paisley, yes, the literal words are troubling. But in a way, we do want to be undone, to surrender, to be made alive. Those things are the jet fuel of surrender and desire.

Geraldine, maybe I suggest the jalapeno vinagrette? ;)

K9, welcome!! I'm posting the contest tomorrow, but the official entry period opens Wednesday. It will run until the 14th. Looking forward to your entry!

Charles Gramlich said...

Now this song I like. It's got energy and is not just voice. The music pounds a bit.