Thursday, July 09, 2009

Entry #11

Lux in Tenebris
by laughingwolf


At age 12, hottie Jackson Brown was seduced and sodomized by his 16-year-old cousin while they showered together.

He liked it.

For the next two years they were occasional lovers, until, camping one night, Jack smothered him, burned their lodgings, and sustained minor burns to his hands as proof he'd tried to help.

Ten years later, seminary graduate Father Brown was assigned to a remote parish where he resumed his evil ways.

Over the next 35 years he lost track of the number of children he'd buggered and forced to fellate him, his Church conveniently moving him in dicey times.

Superiors suspected he may have killed the dozen gone missing in that period, but lacking evidence, shrugged it off.

Sent back to Boston, Jack lured two angelic-looking lads, Mario and Damian, into his lair, buying their silence with vague salvation promises and cheap ecumenical trinkets. Damian was especially winsome with his blue eyes, clear skin and shock of red hair.

Following a late Eucharist, Jack continued to imbibe in the potent sacramental wine back in his quarters. His reverie was interrupted by a timid knock at the door. Lurching to open it, he was pleased to see Damian there.

Reseated, he raised his cassock as the boy kneeled before him.

Then, horrified, watched as the shapeshifting transpired.

The sharp-toothed demon seemed to smirk.

"Time to meet your unMaker, Jack."

It then ripped him to shreds.

Before it reverted back to "Damian", its teeth shone... like a light in the darkness.

72 comments:

Josh said...

Yow. Very stark story of vengeance. Hits in the gut.

wrath999 said...

Cool, my cup of tea. Excellent

alex

laughingwolf said...

thx josh and wrath, appreciate it :)

Chris Eldin said...

Makes you very uncomfortable and invokes strong emotion--a sign you did your job as a writer! I'm glad for the vengeance at the end, but still, does it really undo anything?

laughingwolf said...

thx chris... it may not undo anything but it stops something...

Ello said...

Woo! I was all ready to get a lynch mob and then you came up with the perfect ending!

Merry Monteleone said...

Definitely makes you uncomfortable - which means you were doing your job.

The narrative was great for getting us all the information we needed, because it's such a short word count - but I'd love to see how you'd flesh this out in a full short story. If the narrative made us uncomfortable, I'd bet getting it in action through the character would give us palpatations.

laughingwolf said...

thx ello and merry...

as for expansion, a possibility, merry :)

Catvibe said...

A hideous man. He deserved the vengeance of the demon child.

laughingwolf said...

thx cat, appreciate it :)

Aerin said...

Wolfie! I thought you would be out of town for this contest! Yay that you aren't!!!

Difficult piece, you don't pull your punches, and you keep the plotline moving along. Says as much about us as voyeurs, I think, as anything.

For fleshing it out, as Merry said, keep in mind that /all/ seminaries since about 1998 have required courses on sex & power & the abuse thereof - Catholic or not - so make sure you set it a little further back.

Aniket said...

Oooh! Read Daemon Hunters before, but daemon being a hunter, for good, is the first one. Liked the 'unMaker' part. :D

Good stuff mate!

laughingwolf said...

aerin, i got a new puppy in june, instead of september/october like i thought initially, so called to tell them i'll drive down next spring or summer, once he's a year old, or so

thx for the tip, i'll bear that in mind once i think more of expanding the tale, though i did not intend this tale to be current

laughingwolf said...

thx aniket, took me some time to come up with a suitable ending ;)

JR's Thumbprints said...

Hey now, you touched a nerve with this one. I'm Cathlick, even been fired by a Cathlick priest in Detroit. The real kicker is his cousin: Guido Sarducci from Saturday Night Live. I was wondering who would expose a priest in "The Truth In Wine" Contest. Good job.

(Spelling is deliberate.)

laughingwolf said...

thx jr, happy to oblige ;) lol

and yez, i figgered yer spailing wuz delibberut :O

Laurel said...

Viscerally gratifying. The only thing one would wish for is that Jack might have found Damian sooner than 35 years into his abusal of vows and boys.

Awesome!

laughingwolf said...

thx laurel, appreciate it :)

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

Whoa. Dark and twisted, with an appropriate ending. Good job, Wolfie!

Karen said...

There must be a special circle in Hell for these guys. Glad to see one more on his way there...

Go, Wolfie!

Charles Gramlich said...

One of those justice endings you wish would occur.

Tessa said...

Ooof! That was a brutal thump to the solar plexis. Brilliantly done!

laughingwolf said...

sandra, karen, charles, tessa... thank you so much, really appreciated :)

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Wow, Wolf, you've pulled no punches here - a disturbing, gripping read - and I'm glad he was "got" in the end! Great stuff!

laughingwolf said...

aww thx, a v, appreciate it :)

Precie said...

Wow. Stark and brutal. Nicely written.

laughingwolf said...

thank you, precie, appreciate it...

Kunjal said...

like the way you narrated the story. It gives the feeling that we are moving with Brown. Must say equally justified end. Good work:)

laughingwolf said...

my thanks, kunjal :)

Sarah Laurenson said...

Especially love the casual way he flips up his cassock at the end. Pride certainly went before that fall.

Great job, LW. And I, too, might like to see this expanded. Might be too creepy for me though. Really well done.

laughingwolf said...

thx sarah... still pondering, have a few other things to complete first

Mona said...

Revenge comes in many forms. This was quite a payback! well done!

Therese said...

This really bothered me, laughingwolf.

Which is to say... evocative. You've penned a thought-provoking piece.

Well done.

Whirlochre said...

This is Punch The Air stuff.

laughingwolf said...

mona, therese and whirl thank you so much, really appreciate your comments :)

desiderata said...

ah a dark tale I can empathise with -- just that 35 long years for the devil-in-disguise the just desserts is long overdue. Still, I enjoyed every byte!

laughingwolf said...

thank you, desi...

at least i was not 55! ;)

The Preacherman said...

Bloody hell!!! Very disturbing. Really good stuff though. Really good.



Four Dinners

pjd said...

A pleasant ending to an unpleasant life.

joaquin carvel said...

the first two lines are so stark and horrifying one just can't look away.

i had to google the title, which enlightened me to the ending - nice work.

laughingwolf said...

[that should read IT was not 55, above, in desi's reply]

preach, pete and joaquin, thank you, much appreciated :)

BernardL said...

It's too bad there wasn't a Damian for every one of those Father Browns in real life. Great story.

Kurt Hendricks said...

Love the casual, almost absent-minded evilness of the Father...very authentic.

laughingwolf said...

bernard and kurt, thank you, much appreciated... :)

Terri said...

I do like a bit of Karmic revenge.
I liked that it was all so matter-of-fact, right up to the part where he got ripped to shreds. My kinda dealing with it :-)

laughingwolf said...

terri, thx so much...

aditi said...

I loved it, the sinner in the church, the molesting - all narrated in a removed manner, yet bone chilling. And the end was... whoa! I dont have the words.

laughingwolf said...

aditi, thx so much, greatly appreciated :)

kjsmith said...

Very nice. Love that wicked but necessary ending!

laughingwolf said...

kj, thank you... appreciate your comments :)

Ranee Kaur Banerjee said...

Laughingwolf, you stun me. Your cold, emotionless narrative amplifies the sin and the sinner(s). I absolutely adore the angel-demon character. You've mixed up good/evil at every level and yet you've kept the story just. Fantastic!

Dottie said...

Great job in pulling out the emotions of your readers. Really, I was very disturbed, which is not easy to do with me.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Truth in honesty. Excellent.

Jade L Blackwater said...

I accidentally mixed up my comments between stories, so here are my thoughts for you:

I especially like your application of justice. The story effectively draws out my emotions and then drops the axe.

laughingwolf said...

ranee, dottie and jade... thank you for your kind comments, really appreciate it :)

JaneyV said...

Wolfie! Man can you pack a punch! So many vicious lines casually whacking the reader with such force. Powerful piece my lupine friend!

laughingwolf said...

janey, what a wonderful comment... thank you so much :)

As the Mind Meanders said...

The end was not surprising...but it was ironic and the writing was brilliant... well written...

Blog Gore

September said...

Brutal! Great writing here - you gave us the history and then moved forward a few decades - all flowing smoothly and in so little words. Great job with that. That ending too...wow! Brutal indeed.

laughingwolf said...

atmm and september, thx for your kind comments... that's what helps keep me wordsmithing :)

Margaret said...

I see we both had the same thing in mind while writing our stories. Priests and child molesting - very sad topic.

You did a great job here. Brilliant ending!

laughingwolf said...

sad indeed... :(

thx margaret, yours is great!

J.C. Montgomery said...

I knew with a name like Damien something was up, but not like that. [shivers]

laughingwolf said...

thx jc, a deliberate name choice :)

Angela said...

What a phenomenal story! Very well done, you did a great job all the way around. I thoroughly enjoyed this one!

laughingwolf said...

angela, thx so much :)

Rabid Fox said...

This one, out of all the entries I've had a chance to read, was probably the darkest and most disturbing, so kudos for that.

laughingwolf said...

thx fox, i have therefore succeeded in that effort :)

McKoala said...

Disturbing stuff, Wolfie. I agree that an expanded version would be fabulously horrific, have a think about it.

jason evans said...

High marks for pacing. Demons passing judgment. I like that twist. Seems like the priest is the demon.

laughingwolf said...

thx mc, mostly a slice of life...

laughingwolf said...

jason, thank you

i agree, he was....