Thursday, July 09, 2009

Entry #14

Red Life
by Alexander Salas


Sledgehammers inside his head. Jeff kept his eyes closed. Don’t move. “Uhhhh…Don’t think. Don’t even think.”

Jeff’s stomach rumbled. Budweiser, Jack, Chevis and Bacardi all conspired to make their escape.

The cool wooden floor offered some comfort. Slow…slower…come on…gotta see where I’m going if I want to make it to the toilet and puke my guts out…slower, come on eyes, open…Light. Wood grain. A wine glass? Red wine?

“Is this some kind of a joke? Ow...Shit, shut up, shut up.” Hair of the dog. Hair of the dog. “Ooowwww…” Jeff rolled onto his knees. He shook. “Slow…take your time.” Both hands grasped the goblet. Motionless, Jeff looked like a priest offering the blood of Christ. He drank.

“Pppffffftttt…” The red liquid spewed to the far corners of the room. “Blood? What the…Ooowwww” Jeff’s body heaved. He looked up at the ceiling. Drink this all of you, for this is my blood…

“It can’t be.” Jeff glanced down at the chalice still in his hands. He placed it on the floor. “When I open my eye, it’ll be gone.” The air conditioner hummed. On three. One…two…three…

“Damn. What’s going on?” A half-empty bottled of whiskey stood next to the wine glass. Seconds ticked. Minutes passed. Sweat blurred his vision.

Jeff grabbed the alcohol and chugged. “Ahhh…Ooowwww.” He fell forward clutching the booze. Eyes glued to the red wine he heard his heartbeat.

Th-thump…th-thum…th-thu…th-th…th-t…-----

22 comments:

Josh said...

Nice way to take the metaphorical and make it literal. I'm sure many will relate to this sort of unpleasant waking.

laughingwolf said...

kinda been there myself, a time or two :O

Chris Eldin said...

I like the ambiguity of the last line---did he fall asleep? Or something more sinister?
Great writing with the perfect details!

Catvibe said...

Not a fun way to feel. I like the hallucination, (or is it real? heh heh?)

Aniket said...

You brought the whole piece to life by the phonetic dialogues. Tricky business that. But very effective when done skilfully, like this one.

Nice work.

Therese said...

I especially like, "Budweiser, Jack, Chevis and Bacardi all conspired to make their escape."

Like they're in cahoots. Great imagery.

JR's Thumbprints said...

If he'd only had a mechanical heart -- Thrum, swish, click, thrum, swish, click -- maybe he'd've faired much better.

Laurel said...

I can actually feel hangover fur on my tongue when I read this. Not that I like that feeling but nice job!

Tessa said...

Darkly humorous and psychologically astute - great stuff!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

So well captured, as Tessa says, "darkly humourous" - great stuff!

wrath999 said...

Thank you to all the above who commented on my tale. I appreciate it

alex

Sarah Laurenson said...

So much vivid description and yet so much left to the imagination. Great balance, great pacing. Really well done.

The Preacherman said...

Best description of a hangover I've ever read. Excellent work old bean.

Four Dinners

Karen said...

Great imagery in this one.

desiderata said...

Alex:

Larning from one with experience, I admit I'm totally off alcohol as my system reacts in funny ways (like body red spotting)-- so thanks for "educating" me on what a "hangover" can lead one...~~ YL
PS: If a Lady in Red should offer wine, I would compromise my constitution...:)

BernardL said...

He has chosen unwisely. :)

pjd said...

Brings new meaning to the phrase, "inner demons."

Gughan said...

"gotta see where I’m going if I want to make it to the toilet and puke my guts out…"

I know the feeling.

But haven't had much hallucinations though. Yeah, I know, doesn't say much about my imaginativeness.

Enjoyed the read!

Jade L Blackwater said...

Great intensity!

JaneyV said...

I wish this wasn't so familiar but I had some wild times in college that I still don't remember - but the waking up part - Owwwwwwww!

wrath999 said...

Once again a big Thank you to al who read and commented on my story.

I appreciate it

alex

jason evans said...

I've walked down halls in that condition. Really aggravating how they build those things crooked.