Thursday, July 09, 2009

Entry #17

Vermilion Reflections
by Tessa Edwards

For seven long winters
I carried your picture around
in an old damp suitcase
and now you will be here
on Monday, at noontime.
Is it you that I remember
in your navy blue raincoat
coloured against November?
Did we walk together
through the stench of the Metro
and sit amongst dead butts
in those infernal cinemas?

Now clothed in wispy
garments of solitude
I wait for you to come
on Monday, at noontime.
It is just the rusted sundial
in the parched garden
which warns me lightly
that I still exist in this
place that is so familiar.
I am stifled by the tedium,
and suffer from the carnage
of memories which burn
and sear the core of me.
But I wait, and bake bread
and gather herbs and fresh figs
for us to eat on Monday
at noontime.

The flame trees are in flower now,
the evening pink flamingos settle
on the shores of placid lakes.
The room is large and moonlit,
with soft carpets from the Orient.
There are pools below which appear
like clouds of polarised light,
and they dim and recede
when the sun sinks low
and calls in the lonely night.
Did you know that
I am quieter now,
and more melancholy?
Or that this garnet liquid
with a constellation of reflections
cradled in its silver chalice
is my only succour now
until I melt in you again
on Monday, at noontime.


laughingwolf said...

i feel the loneliness and pain, here...

Karen said...

Tessa - I'm happy to see poetry here. I like the detail and the repetition. Good work!

Catvibe said...

What a beautiful poem! The Monday noontime repetitions were an exquisite touch. Loved the description of the setting, and the melancholy feel.

Chris Eldin said...

Very beautiful! Your words have a musical quality which is simply lovely. I enjoyed your poem very much!

Anonymous said...

'this garnet liquid
with a constellation of reflections
cradled in its silver chalice
is my only succour now'

Absolutely beautiful.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Tessa, this is absolutely beautiful, so incredibly evocative - and I'm so glad you decided to take part!

Tessa said...

Thank you all so much for taking the time to comment - it's hugely appreciated. Poetry - and especially blank verse - is not a popular choice, but your remarks have given my piece a certain validation. I'm really grateful - thank you!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Anticipation, sadness, fear, hope. It's all here. Well done.

The Preacherman said...

This is getting silly.

I do not like poetry.

This is the fourth bloody poem and I liked the other three.

This is the best so far by some margin.

I don't like poetry.

I do like yours - for what it's worth.

This is very very good - but what do I know? ;-)

Four Dinners x

Hadley said...

Tessa, what beautiful imagery you have here, along with a talent that is beyond me.

"The flame trees are in flower now, the evening pink flamingos settle on the shores of placid lakes."

Simply beautiful.

pjd said...

Tessa, don't look for validation here. You don't need it. This is a wonderful poem, truly beautiful in its rhythm and flow, the images and word choice. I don't think I'm familiar with your writing, but I would read more, a lot more. Really a beautiful poem.

That said, if I could offer my own personal criticism... I think it would be perfect if you left out the middle verse. It really didn't do anything for me except start lecturing to me about what I should be taking from the poem (which was all so beautifully woven into the first and third verses). If you need to keep any of it, keep just the last four lines, starting with "I wait". I'm not arrogant enough to think I know best; I'm just offering the reaction I had to the poem.

GREAT work, and I hope it is considered among the prize contenders.

Kurt Hendricks said...

Well done...I love it!

Anonymous said...

I'm with preacherman re: what do I know about poetry except that I love this - and so happy to see you here, Tessa!

Laurel said...

I keep coming back to this. I liked it the first time and it keeps getting better. Elegant. I like the "monday at noontime" thread a great deal. You mentioned the difficulty in finding broad appeal for blank verse but that sort of canto detail offers the structure most of us phillistines crave in a poem.

Good work.

Jade L Blackwater said...

I absolutely love the music of your poetry - it's wonderful to read. Thank you for sharing!

Jade L Blackwater said...

@pjd - I might agree with you, but in fact the middle verse contains some critical elements of the poem which make powerful connections for me (the garden, the sundial, collecting herbs and vegetables). Because these elements personally rang true for me, I cannot imagine this poem without its second verse.

Just my humble thoughts as another delighted reader,

illyria taylor said...

you made my top 5. I'm a sucker for poetry, but this one hit home more than most. Unfortunately, there can never be any Monday's at noon for me.

Kimberly B. said...

This is an amazing poem. Just gorgeous, and I love the blank verse. Probably my favorite of the poems I've read so far.

JaneyV said...

Tessa I think this poem is deeply moving. Your use of imagery and language is light and at the same time stirring. I loved the repetition - it was almost a way of consoling herself. Truly beautiful.

Terri said...

This is beautiful... flowing and lovely and yearning and lilting; I've been reading backwards from entry 158 (don't ask why - I also start magazines from the back sometimes) and this is a very pleasant surprise :-)

Sonia said...

A beautiful piece and very very touching indeed!

Anonymous said...

The soft sadness of this is so alluring. Great elements--unique and strong. I hope he lives up to her thoughts. Strong overall.

Welcome to The Forties Club!!