Friday, July 10, 2009

Entry #30

In Vino Veritas
by Rohan Hood


“How was your day?”

“Great…I went shopping! I have to tell you about this sale at Stacy’s.”

“Good…but keep a watch on your spending habits, baby.”

“I can manage…you don’t have to worry…I called you twice in the morning…”

“Ya…had a long meeting with Mark. Did I tell you about the new project? ”

“Sir, here’s your order…have a nice evening!”

Gulp.

“How many times do I have to tell you, it’s not supposed to be had that way”, Judi grunted.

“Okay. Chill...what's the big fuss about? Anyway, I don't like coming to these fancy restaurants and shelling out money as if I have just won a lottery”, Randy retorted. “A beer does the trick for me...plus I feel more being myself with a mug”.

“Who are you now, then?” Judi snapped back.

“I am some guy sipping a garish drink who is pretending to be classy with a 'taste' for anything expensive”.

“Oh come on! It’s divine! What’s wrong in having taste for good things in life? A beer makes you bloated and dumb. Wine is for the sophisticated.”

“Yeah right!”

Later.

“Oh baby!”

“I love it when you do that.”

“Yesssss…”

“Oh! My darling Jane…”

“Whhaa…I knew it wasn’t meant to be…Fuck off Randy!”

26 comments:

Katherine Napier said...

Yeah, I can see where that would make Judi mad...

Catvibe said...

(Giggle), I like her resolve!

Laurel said...

Ouch.

Great last line! I love the beer vs. wine debate as character development.

laughingwolf said...

lol... too cool ;)

JR's Thumbprints said...

I was expecting a "Not now I have a headache" type ending. Way to turn it!

Aniket said...

Ditto to Laurel.

'Ouch' is just the word to describe it.

Excellent character development.

The only tip I would like to pass on is to use "..." more judiciously in the piece.

I had a habit of using them a little too frequently too till Jason and Sarah pointed it out to me a few months back.

I still use them but far more scarcely.

A wonderful piece, none the less. :D

Aniket said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chris Eldin said...

A playful take on the prompt! Nice one!

Rohan said...

@ Katherine : Hmm...she is sooo mad at him...

@ Catvibe : No other option..throw him off the bed... :)

@ Laurel : Thanks, that was the intent...

@ laughingwolf : Thank you!

@ JR's Thumbprints : Thanks JR. Still learning :)...

@ Aniket : Thanks for the good words...and for the tip :)

@ Chris Eldin : Thanks Chris!

pjd said...

Jane... Judi... what's the diff? At least he got her first letter right. Besides, wasn't it she who wanted him to pretend to be sophisticated? Pretend to like things that he really thought were frivolous, too expensive, and needlessly extravagant?

Yeah, those words seem to fit Judi, I think. Frankly, I'm not sure why he's with her in the first place. Better for both that they break up.

verification word: pyhol
as in, "shut yer pyhol, pjd, ya ignoramus."

Rohan said...

@pjd : hahaha...

What you say is correct...There are times when relationships are not what they seem. We tend make ourselves believe that they can last forever. Maybe thats what reflected from them not being compatible. And Randy cheating on her.
This piece is not taking sides..just telling a story, friend... :)

aditi said...

Ive told you this haven't I, that youve written this piece with such subtle tones and a non judgemental POV thats its way beyond awesome :)

You did a gr8 job, friend.

Rohan said...

thanks aditi for appreciating that...but i have just started and i have a lot to learn...

Yamini said...

This was nice... Loved the ending. completely unexpected.
and like most of the readers have said, you have developed the character beautifully!
Congrats..excellent piece! :)

Amrita said...

This is just too good. The best part about it is that it’s simple and to the point. And yes i will repeat the popular opinion, that u have built up the characters beautifully in just a few lines.
And as they say, well begun is half done, and if your start is this good, well, you could give a complex to a lot of people ;)

Well done.....

Rohan said...

@Yamini : Thanks for the good words...

@Amrita : I hope i am able to do that some day.. :)

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

LOL - big whoops there! ;-) I love the simplicity and honesty of this piece. Good job!

Ranee Kaur Banerjee said...

You made me laugh, Rohan. This guy's definitely beer and she's obviously wine with character and a distinctive bouquet. Well done!

Aerin said...

So...."Love is a Battlefield" came up on my iPod while I was walking this morning - how appropriate! It's sort of like "Love is a Battlefield" meets "Material Girl"!!

Good dialogue, really nice way of staying in the moment - off to read your blog!

As the Mind Meanders said...

@ Rohan...

Boss... you have to write fiction more often... I am a fan... I loved this...

The flow was great... the story ended well... and it brought back some (bad) memories :-)

Cheers mate...

Rohan said...

@Absolute Vanilla:
Thanks :)
@Ranee:
Yes..that was what i had in mind...when i started to write this.
@Aerin:
Thanks for the good words, Aerin. My blog does not have much literary stuff since write mostly on things that happen around me...i hope to write more fiction from now on.
@Gore:
Thnx mate...after a bad day yesterday, i feel great now..!!

JaneyV said...

Beer makes you bloated and dumb ... Oh she got that right!!!!

Enjoyable piece Rohan.

Jade L Blackwater said...

I like the semi-disconnectedness between dialog and action; it reflects the alcoholic uncertainty.

Sonia said...

The last part made me giggle which later turned to a long lasting smile! Very well done!

Rohan said...

@Janey
Thank you Janey...she certianly did.

@Jade
I glad that you could get that..thank you so much...feels good when readers appreciate the exact thing you wanted to show.

@Sonia
Thanks Sonia. I hope i am able to do so to all other readers as well.

jason evans said...

Randy, dude, come on. Get her name right! And give the wine a chance.