Thursday, July 09, 2009

Entry #4

The Mix-up
by Kim Watters


He sits alone at a table for two. As he waits for her, he pours himself a glass of wine, and thinks back to the first time he met her…

She was late, but he didn’t mind. The night was young and they had plenty of time to get to know each other. He was sure this time was different, much different than the ones that had gone before. It started out as a business relationship, talking about work, what supplies her office needed, and then it changed. Her voice had always been pleasant, so he started adding little tidbits, how he was building up his company, what they both liked to do, what they both liked to listen to, what they both liked to watch, and then he got up his nerve and asked her out…

She sits alone at a table for two, early for once. As she waits for him, she pours herself a glass of wine, and thinks back to the first time she met him…

He was already there when she arrived. She’d been a little late, a little nervous, meeting this man for the first time in person, hoping this time would be different. Oh, she had talked to him over the phone for several months about work, but then, it started to change. They talked about the things they both liked and disliked, movies they had both seen, music they both listened to, and then he asked her out…

Now, twenty-five years later…

24 comments:

JR's Thumbprints said...

Anyone that's been together for twenty-five years is bound to have some miscommunication once in awhile. Nicely balanced piece.

Aniket said...

Great depth of emotions are described here in such an artistic way.

You have told so much about the characters without them sharing even a single dialogue. Bravo!

Great writeup!

laughingwolf said...

male/female... always different perceptions....

Catvibe said...

Still together! Nice switch from him to her in time, at the table, drinking the wine....

wrath999 said...

Nice to see that relationships last. Very well done

alex

Chris Eldin said...

Oh, Oh! I wanted to whisper something to the waiter!
Endearing and enjoyable! I like these two characters.
:-)

Tessa said...

I'm so impressed with the narrative subtlety of this story - truly excellent and eminently readable. Congratulations!

Josh said...

A lovely way to show how partners in a relationship oftentimes grow to mirror each other. Charming.

Therese said...

Really enjoy the symmetry in your piece. The echoes in one and the other really add something.

Lovely.

Anonymous said...

Thank you everyone. Believe it or not, it started out as a murder by accident, but then my imagination got in the way. Now, if I could only remember my user name and account for google, but I have to go under anonymous, I think.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Love the change from him to her and in time. Well done.

The Preacherman said...

Very well written. The switch from him to her was supurbly done.

Four Dinners

Karen said...

great romance...nicely done.

pjd said...

Two coworkers told me that they were at the same restaurant once waiting for each other. They'd both been seated, but there was an enormous potted plant right in the middle of the dining room, and they couldn't see each other. It was half an hour before they figured it out.

It's interesting that he was so in control and manipulated her so well that first time they met.

BernardL said...

Drew me in... bittersweet.

Liz said...

They need cell phones. Pretty funny. the reminiscent stage reminded me of Father of the Bride.

RKCharron said...

Hi :)
Thanks for sharing.
I liked both reflecting upon their relationship. They are both waiting for the other in wrong place?
Nice.
twitter.com/RKCharron
:)

Sonia said...

First date turning into 25 years of togetherness. I like the romance

Gughan said...

It took some time for me to understand this. But it seems they are both thinking about their first date, with a glass of wine at the same. And they are waiting for each other? Guess their first date wouldn't be disturbed for a while..

Jade L Blackwater said...

I agree with Therese - the shape / symmetry revealing two points of view is my favorite aspect of how you tell this story.

J.C. Montgomery said...

As others have stated, the symmetry is handled splendidly.

JaneyV said...

very nicely handled.

Leatherdykeuk said...

sweet :)

jason evans said...

Solid writing! High marks for pacing. I like that they have this moment to reflect.