Saturday, July 11, 2009

Entry #44

The Beautiful and the Damned
by David Blanton

Daisy’s car made a right turn.
If all goes according to plan
She’ll be at the funeral wearing red.
She has a growing distaste for poison
Within the intricate lines of stoic superiority.

Daisy’s mind trapped a circle
On her way toward a black hole.
The great gorgeous glass holds a
Myriad of colors, but the color of life
Stands out the most.

Daisy boasted to one man about the kind
Of love that lies. When she drinks,
She drinks through her skin.
The damage is severe,
White hot, visceral, and sad.

No one can tell her the proper way to drink.
She wants to drink alone, but no one will let her.

Daisy walks down the street in a daze,
The bruise on her inner thigh
Matches the one on her neck.
The car accident left her
Thirsty and afraid.

There is a pain in her heart she can’t identify.
She sits down on the side of the road,
Just shy of daylight, looking to the east,
Not knowing what is to rise.

[David Blanton is an aspiring writer and poet. When he's not writing, he's teaching English to middle and high school students. He loves Greek mythology, ancient history, and postmodern theology.]


JR's Thumbprints said...

I can't help but think of her oral fixation, her alcohol addiction -"trapped in a circle, on her way toward a black hole." It's a spiraling downward cycle, and your story captures the mood.

laughingwolf said...

...daisy, give me your answer, do

Anonymous said...

David, have you read Marcus Borg?

Aniket said...

I feel for Daisy.

The writing struck a chord. We talk about always keeping the piece in first person to hold the readers interest but I think the narrative voice just suits the piece.

Great work.

Hadley said...

David, what a visually moving piece of writing you have here. The closing lines are beautiful.

Merry Monteleone said...

Evocative - I really love the way you paint the picture.

I'm also wondering if you're a big Fitzgerald fan... I've got The Beautiful and the Damned on my 100 books to read list.

Chris Eldin said...

Truly haunting.
You did an excellent job with creating the mood. I read this a few times, catching a new layer with each reading.
Nicely drawn!

Catvibe said...

Nice imagery, and I feel bad for Daisy!

Karen said...

Poor Daisy - damned by her own addictions.

The Preacherman said...

If I'm honest I haven't a fucking clue here.

Given that how come I like this so much?

No idea but I do.

Keep writing old bean. You have a real talent here - not that I know anything of course....;-)

Four Dinners

B. Nagel said...

Nice. The title caught my eye with the similarity to Fitzgerald's The Beautiful and Damned, then kept the author allusion with Daisy from Gatsby and the car wreck. As with any Fitzgerald, the MC is drowning something in alcohol. Fun times.

pjd said...

I'm sort of with The Preacherman on this one. There are so many ways I could read this, and none of them feels exactly right, yet I do like it from an aesthetic perspective. The words flow, the rhythm is very good, and the images are strong. But I really don't know what exactly has gone on here. I get the sense that she has died but doesn't exactly know it yet, that she's a ghost. But I'm probably misreading something.

joaquin carvel said...

i don't know the book - but i get the sense from the first and last stanzas that this may be a failed suicide attempt - or at least, the rim of the "black hole" of self-destruction that accompanies addiction.

there is plenty of room to interpret, but the imagery and rhythm are wonderful - "The damage is severe, / White hot, visceral, and sad." is brilliant.

JaneyV said...

Wasn't Daisy the name of the character in The Great Gatsby who crashed the car and killed someone when she was drunk?

I thought this was a really fine piece of writing. I like that you explained nothing and yet hinted at so much. Favourite line"

Daisy’s mind trapped a circle
On her way toward a black hole.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Vertiginous - I especially like these lines:

Daisy’s mind trapped a circle
On her way toward a black hole.
The great gorgeous glass holds a
Myriad of colors, but the color of life
Stands out the most.

Anonymous said...

A surreal feel to this. She's lost and wanting.

Jaye Wells said...

This one sucks you in with the evocative images and the mystery. We may not understand what Daisy's doing exactly, but we feel for her. Good job.