Saturday, July 11, 2009

Entry #47

A Single Glass of Red Wine
by Craig Scott


“You shouldn’t be drinking like that Master.” Peldro admonished, unable to keep the concern out of his voice.

“A glass of red wine won’t kill me.” Renildo slurred.

“I’m sure a glass won’t.” Peldro murmured, frowning at the line of empty glasses along the bar. Renildo drained another glass and set it with the rest.

“Alright Peldro lets go. After all nobody lives forever.” Renildo stumbled as soon as he stood and Peldro had to support him as they went.

“Did something happen at the ball?” Peldro asked once they were outside. His teacher’s behavior was odd and his strange remarks troubled him.

“Halt,” Came a cry behind them. Peldro turned and saw a hooded figure striding towards them. Suddenly the figure drew a rapier from his cloak. Renildo surprised Peldro by shoving him aside and drawing his own blade. The stranger’s blade crackled with unseen power. Renildo tried to use his own power. Peldro had seen it hundreds of times before, The blade should have come ablaze in undulating waves of blue fury. This time it didn’t. The stranger howled in triumph and thrust at the helpless Renildo. It sliced cleanly through the old man’s rapier, through his chest and into his heart. Renildo crumpled soundlessly.

“Nobody questions my honour old man.” The figure spat, turned on his heel and disappeared into the night. Peldro rushed over to his master, cradled his lifeless head and moaned wordlessly. His master’s blood spilled onto the snow, staining it like red wine.

16 comments:

laughingwolf said...

ooo a bit nasty, that :(

Merry Monteleone said...

Woah... nice world building there. A very vivid picture in a small space of words.

Chris Eldin said...

Leaves me wanting more! What happened between them?
Nicely done!

JR's Thumbprints said...

Alcohol and bravery undoubtedly have tragic results. Nice action piece.

Aniket said...

Tragic end. You have laid a solid foundation here about a mystic world.

You should extend it to Peldro seeking revenge for his master.

Peldro gives me that Obi-Wan Kenobi feeling. :)

The Preacherman said...

Can't beat a bit of wizardry. Well written mate. Liked it a lot.

Four Dinners

Catvibe said...

You gotta wonder what happened! Nice action. Sad to see him die.

Sarah Laurenson said...

This does seem the start of Peldro's story. Loved it.

Craig said...

Thanks for all the positive comments everyone. It really is interesting to see different people get different things out of a story.

BernardL said...

If you must drink... don't speak. :) Imaginative tale.

pjd said...

What happened at the ball, and why was Renildo in a self-destructive mood? And yeah, Aniket, I got the light saber star wars thing from them, too...

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Rich and dramatic - I'd very much like to see this as something longer.

JaneyV said...

I got a big "Highlander" vibe here. I love your world building and I genuinely feel that this is a much bigger story waiting to be told.

Terri said...

So much for his glass of wine not killing him... I'm guessing that's why he was having rapier problems.
Nicely finished off ('scuse the pun)

Jade L Blackwater said...

This is a great scene - it reads perfectly as a standalone chapter plucked from a larger story.

jason evans said...

Wow. The ball didn't go very well. He really did something brazen. Maybe if he laid off the wine....

High marks for pacing.