Saturday, July 11, 2009

Entry #59

Truth And Justice
by Absolute Vanilla


Justine raised her glass. “To truth and justice.”

Alex smiled, inclining his head, his eyes never leaving hers.

The intensity of his gaze sent a spicy ripple surging through her, despite the fact that he was at least ten years younger – or perhaps because he was.

She’d been drawn to him from the moment he first walked into her office, his raven hair swept back from the pale skin of his face, his eyes burning as they looked at her. He seemed almost otherworldly.

She’d taken his case without hesitation, confident of another win.

Now he stepped towards her and she met him, sliding her hand into the small of his back, locking him against her.

*

Justine watched as Alex rolled away and pulled on his jeans. She hoped there’d be time for another tryst. He’d made love to her like no man before.

He poured more wine.

“Do you remember,” he said, his eyes drifting over her, “a case you won fifteen years ago, against Edward Allandale? You were a prosecutor then.”

She nodded. The Allandale victory had been the start of her brilliant career.

“He was innocent,” Alex said. “You knew that but that didn’t matter. He was also my father – and you destroyed his life. Our lives. My mother committed suicide.”

Justine scrabbled up, pulling the sheet around her as icy fingers traced her spine.

Alex leant towards her. “I thought you should know,” he murmured, “I have AIDS.”

He raised his glass. “To truth and justice.”

43 comments:

laughingwolf said...

nasty, but no longer a death sentence in today's world...

well done, a v :)

Ello said...

Oh great job! Great ending!

Laurel said...

Oh. My. Nice twist on the unscrupulous attorney. Usually they're defending the guilty.

JR's Thumbprints said...

It's not easy trying to set-up the plot in 250 words or less. I think some type of backstory on the front-end regarding her occupation would've added to the story, but then where do you cut your words. Not easy. Still, I liked the twist.

Ropi said...

Well, I thought 250 words are less.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Thanks for the comments, guys.

Doesn't necessarily have to be a death sentence to get even, Wolf :-)

Thanks, Ello and Laurel :-)

JR, I'd kind of hoped I'd provided enough of a clue and that the rest made it obvious enough not to need more :-)

So, Ropi, are you going to write your 250 words? :-)

wrath999 said...

Wow, talk about revenge! Great line ...icy fingers...

alex

Kunjal said...

great revenge and a good story:)

Chris Eldin said...

I felt you gave just the right amount of detail.
Interesting story!

Catvibe said...

This was excellently written. I loved that you used the name Justine, perfect name. Your description of her predatory nature was pretty clear in her reaction to his stare. It was a nice balance of description and action, enough to make you feel what it was like to be her. I liked it, I'm putting this on my reread list for reader's favs.

An aside, I don't know if you watch the TV show 'Mental', but there was a character very much like her on last week's show.

Adisha said...

That was amazing !!! Really enjoyed the way the subtle tone of the boy, underlining his rage...

Tessa said...

Gulp. Subtle, compelling and exceptionally well written. Reminds me of Roald Dahl at his sinister best in ‘Kiss Kiss’ and ‘Switch Bitch’ I truly don’t think you needed more back-story….it was quite obvious almost immediately that the girl is a lawyer. The final remark is masterful ….’To truth and justice’. Indeed. Bravo, AV!

Aniket said...

The character was composed and had great conviction in his voice.

I loved that. And I loved this piece.

Very well done.

@ Laurel:

Erm. You do realize that Jason is a lawyer too,right? :D :D

But I guess, since he isn't a criminal attorney, you should be okay. lol

The Preacherman said...

Fuckin' 'ell!!! That was well nasty!

Well written mind. Nice one.

I think.....


Four Dinners

Sarah Laurenson said...

Perfect amount of description for me. Very well done.

Precie said...

Phenomenal characterization of the main character--so self-centered in every way. Great twist.

Laurel said...

Aniket:

I meant in FICTION! Are you trying to throw me under the bus?

Aniket said...

@ Laurel:

Now, you are just giving covering fire. :D :D

And no I am not trying to throw you under the bus. Wont do me any good.

I'll have to throw 200 other writers under the bus to win this. :)

Whirlochre said...

A sinister revenge — and so much information fitted into the word limit. That * is a masterstroke.

Liz said...

I was thinking for sure it was just a steamy romance, then that for sure was wrong. You would think a defense attorney would be smart enough to use a condom. I hope every one who reads your story starts using one if they weren't before. i remember my 8th grade teacher said she wouldn't wish AIDS on even her worst enemy...

pjd said...

I've been conditioned after nearly 60 of these to look for the telltales of a vampire. I love the avenging child aspect of this, and the way revenge is achieved. You wrote it quite well. Even at the very end, I thought there might be some forgiveness in the boy, but no.

Will Irons said...

A fantastic piece, Vanilla! Wonderful buildup to that twist!

Thanks for a great read in such a short passage!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Thanks for the comments guys - it's tough work this, fitting a whole story into 250 words - but good practice! ;-)

desiderata said...

ah, we both had some ending vibrations that have symmetry -- AIDS helps to prove a case of great minds think alike!?:) Che3ers, YL

puresunshine said...

Really enjoyed it !! good stuff!

Amanda F. said...

Well played, AV. Truth and justice, indeed.

moonrat said...

wow.

Shadows said...

Great piece of flash fiction. Love the surprise at the end.

September said...

OH! sweet revenge....so many years later....well, maybe not so sweet but he may think so. Good work. Nice ending.

Jenny Woolf said...

I think this is very well done. Really can't think of any criticism of it Nicki - you've managed to make it flow well within the very tight word limit, you've given us an idea of the way the characters look and think and created a punchy plot - quite an achievement.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Thanks for the comment, guys - and Jenny, thanks for stopping by and for the really positive criticism!

Rohan said...

Reminds me of a bollywood movie..nice plot and well written...

J. M. said...

wow, very well done. You packed in a lot in there. nice twist. good read.

JaneyV said...

Oh Vanilla that's fab. So much packed into 250 words. I re-read it and all your descriptions are beautifully misleading - what we first read as passion is a burning hatred for revenge. Loved it dahlink!

Mona said...

With due respect to Jason ( and I am not being judgmental here) in my opinion, attorneys can be call 'consciously schizophrenic' beings, who are capable of bringing forth two mutually contradictory cases, and making them equally convincing. ( or winning them) I think that is an Art, a way of being able to view from opposte points of view.

On the story here: that is a justice met to an attorney.

JR's Thumbprints said...

After a second read (and don't ask me how I missed it; probably trying to read through all the entries too fast), I see the connections to her occupation. I believe I saw it the first time as well. So what the hell did I mean by backstory? I was probably get at the Allendale victory tie-in. Or was it subtle hints that he had aids? But then again, with a 250-word limit, where do you cut? Where do you add? I ain't easy. Crisp writing though.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

A Bollywood movie, eh Rohan - LOL - I kinda had more a Hollywood movie in mind! ;-) Thanks for the kind words!

Thanks, JM.

Aw, fanks, Janey!

I don't think you're the only one who thinks that way, Mona! ;-)

LOL, JR - you're right, you ain't easy! Nor is it easy trying to get it all packed in to 250 words! ;-) I actually ended up writing another short story, inspired by the wine, on the blog, but ignored the word count - just to see what would happen - very different story came out!

Carrie said...

Well executed. One of my favourites.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Ouch. What a web!

Carol said...

FAB!!!

C x

jason evans said...

Now we know why the sex was so good. He was trying to ensure infection. Devious. And well told.

Welcome to The Forties Club!!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Thanks, Jason! :-)

Jaye Wells said...

That's quite a twist. Very clever. Nice job.