Sunday, July 12, 2009

Entry #85

The Toast
by Tara Watson


I stared into the half empty glass. Sunlight filtered through the crystal goblet, a red glow lit the concrete wall behind it. Beams of light reflected off the pool, projecting rainbows above the red. I dropped my chin into my hands, unable to bring myself to lift the glass or break my gaze.

It was his favorite. And he was never coming back.

Wetness blurred the rainbows so that they danced on top of the red illumination. A dull ache weaved its way through my skull. The wine would drown my feelings. I glanced to the pool as a shadow fell across the water and a tear rolled down one cheek. I dabbed at my eyes.

His strong arms circled round my body, pulling me close. A familiar kiss on the top of my head quelled the ache. Comfort drifted in from the bottom, slowly working its way up.

“I promised him I would take care of his little girl,” he said. “And I meant it.” A small, open black box appeared on the table. I nodded as more tears escaped.

Warmth made its way back in as he slid the ring onto my finger. “I’ll miss him so much.”

“So will I,” he whispered, his voice thick. He raised his glass. “To the man who taught me what it meant to be one.”

I picked up half full glass in front of me. “To the man who taught me to accept nothing less.”

16 comments:

Laurel said...

This was so sweet! (Not in the trite way.) It reads like a tribute and what pretty description.

JR's Thumbprints said...

A very appropriate title for a tribute to a father. Nicely done.

Catvibe said...

I love the beginning descriptions of the reflections, appropriate to their reflection. Very nicely done.

laughingwolf said...

nice and gentle...

Aniket said...

Its virtually impossible to critique a piece that carries such a wondeful thought.

Great work.

The Preacherman said...

A great tribute to a father indeed.

He will be rightly proud.





Four Dinners

Aimee Laine said...

Such a romantic at heart! I love it!

Chris Eldin said...

This piece somehow brings a hush to the noise of the outside world. Gentle and bittersweet, but more sweet in the end.
Very nice!

Hoodie said...

I love the last line. A fine story of tribute.

BernardL said...

A eulogy vividly expressed.

pjd said...

Lovely. Plus, he's roped in by a double vow now. A wedding promise, and a promise to a dying man. Double screwed if he messes this up.

My only problem with the writing was "His strong arms..." With no other antecedent to latch onto, the pronoun refers to the one who is never coming back. So for a moment, it's totally creepy... the dead person (shadow on the pool made me think of a corpse actually IN the water at that point) suddenly puts his arms around her and gives a familiar kiss?

Once I figured out the change in pronoun reference, it became a lovely and romantic story without sappiness. I love the nodding through the tears especially. That moment seems very real with the earlier description of the rainbows blurring through wetness. Very nice.

Terri said...

Pass the Kleenex {sniff}
You managed to squeeze an entire tear-jerker into 250 words, that's quite an achievement, well done :)

JaneyV said...

This was wonderfully sweet and moving without coming close to lapsing into melodrama. Nicely done.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much everyone for the lovely comments.
pjd-the final edit was supposed to come in as, Strong arms... no pronoun. Just didn't quite make it in the process somehow-oops.

Tara

jason evans said...

A beautiful toast. Sounds like he has huge shoes to fill in her feelings. Maybe too big.

Welcome to The Forties Club!

thtkndofgrl said...

No worries Jason, he has very big feet ;)
Thanks for the comments. Nice to be in the club :)