"Dude. You know how they say that if you die a martyr, you get 72 virgins in the afterlife?"
"Maybe. Yeah. Kind of like a suicide bomber retirement plan, I guess."
"I wish I lived over there when they announced that. When they made the big announcement."
"Think about it! 72 virgins!"
"That's a lot of virgins."
"You can say that again."
"Wouldn't it be enough to have, say, three?"
"That's not the point. Where do you think they get all those virgins? 72 and 72 and 72. Adds up pretty fast."
"Does anybody ever consider, though, that paradise for these martyrs does double duty as hell for virgins?"
"Huh.... Excellent point."
"Think about it. Getting rounded up with 71 other girls and being assigned to some scrubby asshole. Talk about adding insult to injury."
"As if dying a virgin wasn't bad enough."
"So, imagine the day they figure all this out and make the big announcement. At some point, the virgins must figure out what's going to happen to them if they die before doing the deed."
"Yeah. Bad day."
"So, if you're one of them. What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking that being a virgin is serious liability."
"Well, I'm thinking I need to jump on anything that moves."
"Now you're seeing my logic."
"Wow. Millions of them."
"Actually, you'd be doing them a great service. You'd be saving them from hell."
"Beautiful, I know."
"Dude, why are you shaking your head? You're a genius."
"In all seriousness, the world is a fucked up place."
"I'll drink to that."