One Crow Sorrow
by Donna Dickson
The night is dark, but the moon casts its light over the open field, covering it like a blanket soaked in mercury. The trees at the edge of the clearing beckon like blackened skeletons, calling me closer, closer, drawing me in.
“You are the keeper of all knowledge. You are the sacred law. You are an omen of change. Through you, I will know the truth. Tell me what I must know.”
The crow does not answer, mocking me harshly with its grating cry. It knows I will follow. I am compelled. I have no choice.
“What message do you have for me? Enlighten me, please! What am I supposed to learn?”
Deeper into the night, deeper into the heart of the shadows, the crow is silent as it cuts a path through the frigid air, taking me where I understand that I must go.
“What do you want from me?”
The crow speaks, “My son, you must change your path. This way darkness lies. You have a good heart, but it grows cold and empty. You have dreams, but you do not seek them. You have life, but you do not live it. You walk alone.
“You were a child and can hold no blame. It was not your fault.”
“But I trusted…”
“And you were betrayed. Trust yourself now, love yourself now and peace will follow.”
The crow wraps me within its soft, gentle wings and leads me toward the warmth of the rising sun.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
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22 comments:
Great interplay!
so... when he was a kid, someone convinced him to be a writer?
I too like the interplay between the man and the Crow. I'm left wondering what it was that set him down on the lonely path. Who betrayed him?
The Crow's words were indeed very wise
Trust yourself now, love yourself now and peace will follow.
I liked this piece very much especially the mystical atmosphere you created.
Great byplay. A truly wise crow.
I too like the atmosphere you created. Love also the message within this little piece. Really enjoyed the writing here.
PJD...!! and !!!
A nice theme amalgam of "to thine ownself be true" and " darkness may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning."
"what do you want from me?"
I could almost picturise myself asking this one single question...and I can bet its this question which eats at so many people who are around here...
Mithun Mukherjee
An odd choice for a crow to be the "knowledgeable one" bird. But I also recall the fable of the crow who successfully extracted water from a bottle :)
Didn't know why the dialogue was in italics, but the atmosphere was very mystical. For some reason I had Vincent Price's tones for the crow.
Master Crow-da speaks wisely.
Find enlightenment, I'm sure he will. :D
Loved the setting of the piece.
very nice donna... but i don't think this was anywhere in the hrm ;)
Very nice.
It has that The Messiah feel to it.
Pete: You are so bad!
I love the description in the first paragraph and the mystical mood. I also like the idea of a soul compelled to redemption, very Flannery O'Connor.
There aren't enough of the crow as the good guy.
Thank you for rectifying that with some terrific writing!
Nice clean writing.
Lovely voice.
Would work well with fantasy.
And PJD--lol. :)
There's been a variety of stories where the narrator addresses the fowl of choice and seeks guidance. Whether it be a lost soul, an injured person, or whatnot, the bird seems to have the answers. Nice bit of fantasy.
lol @ PJD!
There is a lovely message in this piece. We should all be so lucky.
Nicely balanced, I enjoyed reading it! I particularly love the "blackened skeletons" bit. Terrific setting you created in the opening paragraph.
Laughing with Pete. :-)
I feel like the crow is a higher voice, an internal voice that we should all listen to. Lovely advice in the form of a story.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
Something I Might Tweak
Dear Entrants #1-105,
I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.
Cheers,
Aerin (#236)
BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like the Golden Globes or those wretched Old Navy dummies.
This is lovely (-: Absolutely loved your opening paragraph.
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