Monday, January 11, 2010

Entry #122

Prelude to a Kill
by Ed Welter


So the hunt begins with a long sweeping curve across the outermost boundary of his domain. Rising ever upward as if to penetrate the very roof of the sky, he hovers to obtain an optimum vantage point.

Down across the barren terrain he gazes at nothing in particular but detects everything. His next meal awaits somewhere below; inevitable as the path he will repeat over and again until it is so. The chill in the air reminds him that this is the time to be patient. So confident is he in his skills of the hunt, the pursuit is merely a necessary exercise to a forgone conclusion.

He circles back and forth in an ever tightening pattern. His muscles are calm but aware, awaiting the split second calling at the precise time of need. No prey, no competitor within his sight can match his speed of approach.

Across the flats, barely perceptible, he catches the movement of a dull shadow permeating out from behind an object obscuring his direct contact. This is it. His muscles grow tight as he dives down, contorting his body into a missile-like form. The speed is relentless and his heart beats crazy as he races against his fellow competitors toward the kill until at last he arrives.

“Good morning,” he says, “That’s a fine automobile. I have the keys right here. Why don’t we take it for a test ride?”

His prey securely in his talons, there will be no escaping on this particular morning.

22 comments:

wrath999 said...

Cool twist in the end. I enjoyed the read.

Lena said...

I loved the twist too. Great writing.

Craig said...

I loved the tiwst as well. Also loved the way you put the "hawk's" confidence across in the begining.

Tara said...

HA! Loved it. Great twist, great writing.

Bernita said...

You ...um...gulled us to the very end!

Meghan said...

Nice twist!

Merry Monteleone said...

I always knew they were scavenger birds! Very nicely done.

Chris Eldin said...

So, so funny! I loved being led in one direction, only to have a laugh out loud twist at the end. Smooth writing. Nicely done!!
:-)

Four Dinners said...

Terrific twist!!! My top 5 is about a top 14 now!!!

Aerin said...

Reading along, I thought, oh, what nice language, really well handled, but c'mon, another hunting piece....and then WHAM. Laughed out loud. Thanks for the humor but also, a well-written piece.

laughingwolf said...

neat!

Laurel said...

Perfect. And the predatory description made for a seamless jump to the twist. He immediately morphed in my mind's eye from diving hawk to a lanky middle aged guy buttoning a flapping, sub-par sportcoat while he crosses the showroom floor to the parking lot in a casual hurry.

Deb S said...

Thanks for making me smile. Nice twist!

pjd said...

LOL. About a third of the way through I figured it was a metaphorical hunt, and you didn't disappoint. Nicely played.

Kartik said...

Fantastic twist!! I totally didn't see it coming .. bravo! :)

catvibe said...

Wonderful! I laughed. A car salesman? Funny!

Louise said...

Hi Ed,
That was great.Lovely writing, and then that big bird of prey in my mind becomes a car salesman!! Brilliant!!

truevoid said...

you got us on the twist there!

JaneyV said...

LOL! terrific ending - a very satisfying counter to the lyrical language of the beginning.

james r. tomlinson said...

Whoahhhhh ... ease up on those used car salesmen. I'm from Michigan and we've had it rough these past few years. This is definitely a one-of-a-kind story.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Hahahahaha

Car salesman? Great job.

Harper said...

Subtitle: Death of An American Car Salesman (or was this a foreign bird of prey rare to this neck of the woods). Jolly good, old sport, most amusing, say what?