Monday, January 11, 2010

Entry #131

Falling Leaves
by Merry Monteleone


She sat, taking care to gauge the proximity of the bench before letting her entire weight relax into the seat. Her face tilted heavenward, eyes as bright as sea foam spray rushing into warm, inviting sand.

She let her finger tips dance along the wood, timid at first and then certain in their rhythm, her palm finding every contour and groove. Smooth - unmarred by initials, hewn in rough slashes in some attempt to capture immortality on a lonely park bench.

She counted the steps back in her mind, wondering if she’d found the wrong place, but the tree was there. Dim shadows, to be sure, and it seemed larger somehow.

Fall was her favorite season. The musky smell of earth and drying leaves, and the colors – in her memory the splashes of golds and burgundies floated in gorgeous torrents around her. How quick those moments passed, and she never realized how magical they were, how rarely they came, until they were nothing more than memory, fading as fast as her sight.

Sitting alone was hard, she couldn’t feign interest in a book or hide her face in the pages and Braille was still a bit beyond her meager coping skills. Instead, the shadow tree held her in movement she couldn’t be certain was real – a falling leaf? A baby bird, leaving the nest.

“Annabelle.” His voice hadn’t aged a day.

The warmth of his hand inside hers reminded her of falling leaves.

26 comments:

Bernita said...

Lovely, warm language and scene.

Aerin said...

"I'm not going to enter" grumble grumble. Merry, the next time you're NOT going to enter, give me fair warning.

A beautiful, evocative, romantic piece.

Craig said...

You really brought all the other senses to life. Well done.

Aniket said...

This sure is a contender for the title Merry. Like Craig mentioned, you've made us feel and touch through your words. Absolutely beautiful.

Thank you for this.

@ Aerin: Come on. Submit your entry!

laughingwolf said...

brilliant piece, merry...

Laurel said...

Love this. Beautiful and wistful.

Deb S said...

"The warmth of his hand inside hers reminded her of falling leaves."
Lovely.

Four Dinners said...

Oh wow! Absolutely wonderful writing!

Merry Monteleone said...

Thank you, everyone!

Aerin, Pete goaded me into it - where's yours? Come on, we know you wrote one.

I'm slowly but surely reading through entries - I'm hoping to make it through them all by tomorrow night or Thursday - there's a lot of amazing writing going on here!

lena said...

So very beautiful and romantic. Enjoyed reading it. Nice to see people who did not write any dark stuff for that contest.

pjd said...

And so glad you entered! This is beautiful, terrific writing. You've shared a whole range of emotions with us, but the one overriding one is contained in "his voice hadn't aged a day." Beautiful.

catvibe said...

I love the ending, it's exactly what it should be. It's a beautiful piece. Just lovely.

Kartik said...

This is such warm and heartening writing. Why would you wait to submit it so late? :) Wonderful!

Kurt Hendricks said...

This is just great, very real. Very well done.

Karen said...

This is beautifully done.

Anonymous said...

I do believe you touched upon all the senses.

Beautifully written, I'm sure! Happy ending, too.

Jean Ann

McKoala said...

Lovely, lovely description and use of the senses.

JaneyV said...

Beautiful, sensual and unashamedly romantic. I love every perfectly written word of it.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Awwww. Funny, I didn't twig to her being blind until you hit me over the head with it.

Very romantic and sigh worthy.

James R. Tomlinson said...

From my usual unpolitically correct mind: at first I thought she was a fat-bottomed girl, but soon realized her fate. You did an excellent job with the descriptions and made my short list. I've been scrolling downward and have picked a dozen so far.

Terri said...

Lovely description and a beautiful smiley "aaah" moment at the end.

Chris Eldin said...

Oh, I really really loved this, Merry. So beautifully written. Soft and gentle, and full of humanity. Lovely.

Rabid Fox said...

I really liked the imagery brought out in this piece. Evocative.

illyriataylor said...

everything about this was just gorgeous.

Harish said...

There was a beautiful warm mellow glow all about, as I visualized this read. Words have been used with gentle care. Loved this! :)

Ragna said...

Beautiful, and so well written.