Monday, January 11, 2010

Entry #137

Window Seat
by Jeffrey S. Callico


Cold today, and here I sit at this lonely window, the coffee cold too soon. Where is everyone? Well, they’re not here, I can see that to be true. Outside in the cold is the place no one wants to be, including me.

When I wake before dawn I hear a bird but never know where it is. Sometimes I wonder if I am dreaming or if it really exists. It must, I think, because when I hear it I’m awake. Or am I?

Today this window is lonely and I am here, alone like that bird must always be.


(Jeffrey S. Callico hails from Atlanta. His collection of short fiction, Fighting Off The Sun: Stories, Tales, and Other Matters of Opinion, is available on Amazon. His work has appeared in several print and online literary journals, including FRiGG, Johnny America, Origami Condom, Calliope Nerve, The Legendary, Opium Poetry 2.0, Target Audience Magazine, Spoken War, Pulp Metal Magazine, Weirdyear and Fashion for Collapse.)

28 comments:

Angel Zapata said...

Somber and quiet. There's a tranquil strength in this flash, Mr. Wired.

Michael Solender said...

Oneiric & Mellow.

Nevine said...

Nice and serene, though there is an exhausted anxiety. Very well done!

Nevine

Bernita said...

Conveys a certain ennui.

kashers said...

I reckon the narrator wishes it to be a dream that he can wake from. He is drifting, not noticing coffee going cold. The latter being representative of how his life is going. It's cold outside, the coffee's cold, but he's colder. Likewise, he perceives his loneliness in all other things - whether animate, as with the bird; or inanimate, as with the window (twice). I think he should really think about the bird outside and start to think why he is chirping, and then, start to do the same. He a loner, but not a natural one.

LynnAlexander said...

Wonderful, Jeff. Glad to see it here.

Aniket said...

Echo to Nevine. Its melancholic and serene.

Paul D. Brazill said...

Stark and sharp. Very good work.

Craig said...

You put across the narator's confusion well without overplaying it. Well done.

Carrie said...

Short and sweet. Err bittersweet. Great. Yes. I suck at profound comments. :)

laughingwolf said...

well said...

Deb S said...

You hit the cold and lonely vibe, smack on.

Four Dinners said...

Very melancholic. Almost makes me feel lonely!

Laurel said...

I am bereft.

This is so lonesome.

lena said...

Loneliness is one of the saddest feelings in the world. You have shown the weight of it very well.

pjd said...

Nicely drawn snapshot.

catvibe said...

Nice writing. Can we have some Spring soon? Please?

CJT said...

Nicely done Jeff - even tho I know your feelings on the piece I still think its good.

Erin Cole said...

Fabulous wrap around- you always tie everything together, with such sharp, honesty – love that.

Kartik said...

one of those middle-of-day-existential crises?

Barry J. Northern said...

Smooth. I'd say this was poetry because of the way if flowed and how it's hard to put your finger on its subtle complexities.

JaneyV said...

Jeffrey - this is how I often think the elderly and infirm residents of nursing homes think. Its melancholy and longing is wrapped up in stillness and quiet.

You packed a lot of feeling into these few words.

quin browne said...

stark.

James R. Tomlinson said...

I've been reading these entries in reverse order and have run across plenty of window sills. Nice sketch.

Aerin said...



my caveat

Something I Would Keep

It has the "if a tree falls in the forest" "unplug from the Matrix" kinds of feel.

Something I Might Tweak

Moving from specifics (the coffee) to generalizations seems to be part of the structure, but I think some of the effectiveness is lost when you choose to use so few words. Just a thought.

Chris Eldin said...

Sad and lonely, and I'm thinking the shortness of this piece adds to the lonliness.

illyriataylor said...

haunting.

Katherine Tomlinson said...

A short prose poem of a moment--everyone can relate to the feelings here...