Window Seat
by Jeffrey S. Callico
Cold today, and here I sit at this lonely window, the coffee cold too soon. Where is everyone? Well, they’re not here, I can see that to be true. Outside in the cold is the place no one wants to be, including me.
When I wake before dawn I hear a bird but never know where it is. Sometimes I wonder if I am dreaming or if it really exists. It must, I think, because when I hear it I’m awake. Or am I?
Today this window is lonely and I am here, alone like that bird must always be.
(Jeffrey S. Callico hails from Atlanta. His collection of short fiction, Fighting Off The Sun: Stories, Tales, and Other Matters of Opinion, is available on Amazon. His work has appeared in several print and online literary journals, including FRiGG, Johnny America, Origami Condom, Calliope Nerve, The Legendary, Opium Poetry 2.0, Target Audience Magazine, Spoken War, Pulp Metal Magazine, Weirdyear and Fashion for Collapse.)
Monday, January 11, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
28 comments:
Somber and quiet. There's a tranquil strength in this flash, Mr. Wired.
Oneiric & Mellow.
Nice and serene, though there is an exhausted anxiety. Very well done!
Nevine
Conveys a certain ennui.
I reckon the narrator wishes it to be a dream that he can wake from. He is drifting, not noticing coffee going cold. The latter being representative of how his life is going. It's cold outside, the coffee's cold, but he's colder. Likewise, he perceives his loneliness in all other things - whether animate, as with the bird; or inanimate, as with the window (twice). I think he should really think about the bird outside and start to think why he is chirping, and then, start to do the same. He a loner, but not a natural one.
Wonderful, Jeff. Glad to see it here.
Echo to Nevine. Its melancholic and serene.
Stark and sharp. Very good work.
You put across the narator's confusion well without overplaying it. Well done.
Short and sweet. Err bittersweet. Great. Yes. I suck at profound comments. :)
well said...
You hit the cold and lonely vibe, smack on.
Very melancholic. Almost makes me feel lonely!
I am bereft.
This is so lonesome.
Loneliness is one of the saddest feelings in the world. You have shown the weight of it very well.
Nicely drawn snapshot.
Nice writing. Can we have some Spring soon? Please?
Nicely done Jeff - even tho I know your feelings on the piece I still think its good.
Fabulous wrap around- you always tie everything together, with such sharp, honesty – love that.
one of those middle-of-day-existential crises?
Smooth. I'd say this was poetry because of the way if flowed and how it's hard to put your finger on its subtle complexities.
Jeffrey - this is how I often think the elderly and infirm residents of nursing homes think. Its melancholy and longing is wrapped up in stillness and quiet.
You packed a lot of feeling into these few words.
stark.
I've been reading these entries in reverse order and have run across plenty of window sills. Nice sketch.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
It has the "if a tree falls in the forest" "unplug from the Matrix" kinds of feel.
Something I Might Tweak
Moving from specifics (the coffee) to generalizations seems to be part of the structure, but I think some of the effectiveness is lost when you choose to use so few words. Just a thought.
Sad and lonely, and I'm thinking the shortness of this piece adds to the lonliness.
haunting.
A short prose poem of a moment--everyone can relate to the feelings here...
Post a Comment