Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Entry #151

Taunting Sally
by Claire Flynn


Sally stood in the garden putting the washing on the line. It made her feel at ease. She looked up at the pale blue sky, only to have something warm, wet and sticky land on her face. The forth time this week and she'd be damned if she was going to put up with it any longer. That bloody crow. I'll shoot the arse off it. She marched into the house.

'Where's that bleeding, shotgun?' She asked her husband.

'What you what that thing for?'

'That bugger of a crow's just shat on my face. I'm havin nah mare o' it.'

'You know, it's just a crow, Sally. It can't help where it does the toilet.'

'Well, it better start helping it if it doesn't want a bullet up the arse.'

'Backside, Sally, please don't say arse.'

'Do you want a bullet up your arse too?'

Sally grabbed the shotgun out the cupboard and stomped outside to confront the crow. It was circling the sky squawking, taunting her. With an evil glint in her eye, she thought, you've shat on me for the last time, crow. And took aim. She bloody missed. The crow flew off in search of another unsuspecting victim. Just you run off, bleeding crow. I'll be waiting for ya' next time.

22 comments:

lena said...

I love the emotions you managed to show in such a short piece. You created such an atmosphere that it felt real.

Bernita said...

A fun piece. I enjoyed it.
That crow had better be careful!

Laurel said...

Do you want a bullet up your arse too?

That Sally is not one to be trifled with! And she's right...crows are smart. That bugger knew what he was doing.

Great, fun read and tone. I like the voice a lot.

wrath999 said...

A fun read. Excellent

kashers said...

Do you want a bullet up your arse too?

Not right this moment, thanks.

A fun read.

Anonymous said...

I like the interaction between your characters. You set up the conflict nicely. I was hoping for some type of resolution in the end (er arse). --JR

Meghan said...

Tough cookie, Sally! Glad the crow got away (maybe she deserves poop from above though?) Great job.

laughingwolf said...

'ware the fury of ol sal, crow ;) lol

pjd said...

I think the 'usband had better watch out.

Fun read, loved the voice.

catvibe said...

Loved the dialect, and the story made me laugh. Great stuff in here. Well done.

Claire said...

Thank you everyone, glad you liked it.

Patsy said...

Crikey, she's a stormy mare!

Believable (if short tempered) character.

Craig said...

Sally is one intense character.

Anonymous said...

good Fun and down to earth

Deb Smythe said...

Ha! I'll keep my distance from Sally, thanks.

Kartik said...

Can crows/other birds really recognise guns?
And yes, good to stay away from Sally :P

JaneyV said...

Sally - if a bloody crow had shat on me four times I'd be thinking he was using me for target practice too. Absolutely shoot the arse out of him ad while you're at it rip yer husband a new one.

Claire - a fun and enjoyable piece. I loved the voice and the determination of Sally. I do love a woman who won't let herself be shat on.

Good one!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Awesome. I've been shat upon before and can really relate here. Crow's nothing compared to a pelican though. ;-)

Preeti said...

:-)))

laughed throughout.
very well written. Sally's amazing. Such a grouch. And that husband of hers is so whinny...
HAHAHA... the crow is the best of the lot...

:-)

nice nice...

Aerin said...

I'm reading backwards, so I read about the witch-neighbor before reading this one - how fun to have the two pieces!


my caveat

Something I Would Keep

The interaction between husband and wife - so authentic.

Something I Might Tweak

I'd stop with "bloody missed" - that would be a punch-in-the-gut last line to match your punching protagonist!

Tara said...

Hilarious. Great dialogue. I really like Sally :)

Chris Eldin said...

Cat and Mouse game, LOL at this one!!