The Missing Piece
by Carrie Clevenger
They said that the first infection was a fluke, that the avian flu couldn't be spread to humans. We believed them. We wore our masks and treated each doorknob as if it were radioactive glowing until the newscast came across the tube and relieved our fears. The war is over, they said. The economy's gone north, they said. And there is an epidemic of avian flu―in Japan.
Japan is far from here, full of imagination: pagodas and kimonos, koto players with painted faces, and Mahjong.
A special piece, painted with the Northern Wind, gusted to an antiquities market in Eastern New York City, on a stand sold by a man considered weird by some, eclectic by others, and still otherwise known as the Devil by those of holy mind and spirit, out for everyone to touch and admire.
A little man stops to admire the piece―it's been missing from his set for so very long. If he brings this home, he says to himself, his life will certainly change.
(Carrie Clevenger, (also known as Carrie Cleaver) worships Maynard and dreams of cephalopods on trains and other oddities in Austin, Texas. She doesn’t have to write the next great novel, but it’d be nice to at least leave a bloody print on her way down. The hub of her evil network can be found at http://shadowsinstone.blogspot.com/ or on Twitter as @shadowsinstone.)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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27 comments:
I like this very much, particularly the sense of unease created around the 'special piece'.
I am afraid I am missing out something here. Maybe some little bit more background would help. Or is it just me?
creepy as usual, Carrie.
I like the sense of forboding and the references to how little geography protects us from far away plagues.
This is interesting.
ooh I like this one much! very clever. great closer.
Ooh. So the special little Mahjong piece foreshadows, eh.
The little man's life definitely will change.
Very well done.
Clever piece...
Probably my own ignorance, but I don't get the connection between the and second halves of this piece. Both are written well, but try as I might I can't link them.
Great story, as usual. Loved the symbolism!
I like the interpretation, how the avian flu can travel by other means, instead of by bird. --JR
Kashers/Lena: The North Wind is a Mahjong piece. You almost have to be somewhat familiar with the game. Sorry to disappoint or confuse you.
I love it...I got the majong reference...with all the eastern references, placed in NYC, and what it can/does (?) carry. I really enjoyed it.
Cheers!
Dark in a good way.
sweet!
The second half reminds me a little bit of the opening to Gremlins, when the dad buys the little mogwai creature. HIS life certainly changed.
The writing and tone are well done. To me though, what I enjoyed the most was the subtlety of the piece. It doesn't waist time beating the point over the head of the readers.
I was very confused when I first read this piece. I had to read it a few times to start to make the connections. I have to wonder if the Northern Wind Mahjong piece doesn't gust with it some of that Avian flu. His life will surely change if it does.
... and death comes in on a game board.
Nicely done.
Very Clever. It works on so many levels.
Someone usually dies...why not 1/8 of the population. Seriously though? It could happen. This is what happens when I look at birds through blurry trees.
Since a few people are confused, yes the game piece brings the disease. It's also a statement of how if our problems are so far away, that they can easily infiltrate our defenses.
Loved the ending. Subtly done.
Clever and creepy piece--well done! I didn't really have to know anything about Mahjong to understand what was happening. Through context, I understood what I needed to know.
wow...
i love mahjong. for entirely different reasons.
and this is yet another example of a new perspective. i liked how it progressed. Nice.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
Japan as a land of imagination and everything thereafter...LOVE. Love, love. Such nice details, almost playful (dare I say "windy") in the movement to New York. Very nice.
Something I Might Tweak
I think the disconnect people are having is that the first paragraph, which is so clear, and the next three which are subtly revealing and evocative. Almost as though there are two points of view.
I was also a bit confused, but enjoyed the sense of forboding you created nonetheless.
Carrie,
AWESOME! I like the idea of how a small game piece can cause so much impact. . . we imagine massive bombs blowing up or guns, etc. but just think of how small a virus or disease is. . . and how capable it is. . .
NICE.
Jim
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