Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Entry #178

Possession
by Freddie Peets


The merciless morning gust whipped my body as I lurched around for a new victim. The last one had been appealing; young and oddly nimble. As I’d watched, her elegance drew me in, strengthening my desire. But as night closed in around us, and I became comfortable, certain I could get her into my grasp, she evaded me, disappearing into the shadows.

But, learning from my mistakes, I set out again, in the hope I could pursue my target, and find her again. As I dove from one dark place to the next, my eyes keen for her presence; my mind turned and struggled with my thoughts. It had got to the point of obsession; no-one else would do, it had to be her. I could see this, but this made her ever more appetising - the things I would do to her...

She appeared. Suddenly, as if out of some ethereal mass, her shape - her beautiful shape – was there. I couldn’t believe it. I‘d found her. And she hadn’t seen me yet... Now was the time to go. I needed to chase her, and seize her now, before she escaped my clutches again. There she was, softly prancing along in the January frost, and she was... mine. I waited a second, breathed deeply, and struck. I swooped down, extending my wings and grabbed her in my mouth.

I’ve never heard one squeak so loud before.

16 comments:

Laurel said...

Positively predatory. Fantastic ambiguity here, and I love the play between sexual pursuit and stalking.

Bernita said...

Amusing.

Aniket said...

Well done grasping the voice of a matured predator!

catvibe said...

I really enjoyed this entry. It made me giggle at the end. Even though I do feel badly for the rabbit. :-) A small point here, your first paragraph has an extra word 'come'. You can ask Jason to edit it out.

Preeti said...

Hahaha... loved the build-up.
who would have imagined that this was the story of a bird stalking/hunting down a prey...???

beautifully done. very original. loved it. thoroughly.

laughingwolf said...

gotta watch those minnie mice! ;) lol

lena said...

I enjoyed reading this one. Very visual.

Deb Smythe said...

I thought he was going to be zombie at first. I think it was the word "lurch" in the first sentence. Nice job.

Craig said...

A very clever take.

Kartik said...

Well done, the ambiguity that Laurel talks of definitely made it engrossing :)

James R. Tomlinson said...

Since there were other victims, I wanted to know more about why this one was so special, so different from the rest.

JaneyV said...

A predator is a predator is a predator. Whether looking for its next meal or a sexual conquest the driving instinct is the same. The lust for the prey.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Excellent. Kept me enthralled to the end. Then I laughed!

Aerin said...



my caveat

Something I Would Keep

"Lurch" in the beginning definitely evokes a different image than a bird on wing - if I hadn't seen the image prompt, I would have been more suprised by the ending

Something I Might Tweak

I might not use the ellipse at the end of the second paragraph.

James R. Tomlinson said...

Janey V, I deal with predators on a daily basis. In fact, I knew a convict locked up for stealing a mannequin. He paroled, committed the same crime, and returned to prison. I thought outloud, "Why doesn't someone just buy him a mannequin, it would save the taxpayers money." Another convict said to me, "Oh no, that won't work. It can't be just any mannequin. He has to fall in love with it first."

So, in short, I disagree with your statement. Predators pick their victims for all types of reasons.

Chris Eldin said...

LOL @ James' comment!
Okay, this one made me laugh. Nice one!