Looking into the Light
by M. Wilkinson
Winter has come early this year. The tree outside my window, under which my lover said his last goodbye, had shed its leaves. They lay brittle, brown, a harlot’s fallen skirts, at its base. It lifts naked arms to the sky. In the night it taps dry, skeletal fingers at my window. I turn in my empty bed, search for the comfort of a warm body, and touch icy sheets.
A crow has made the tree its refuge. It circles, lands high in the branches and mocks my loneliness with its raucous call – gone, gone. Moonbeams touch it with pale fingers, lighting head, and tail – a half bird, staring into my window. I close the curtains, and yet I fancy the bright yellow eyes see through the folds, and goose-bumps ripple along my arms.
In the spring I’ll find a new lover, delight in his kisses, and fly on winged feet to meet him.
In the spring I will fell the tree.
(Maureen Wilkinson is a British Author. Her interests range from travel to antiques. It’s when walking that her mind travels its own strange paths. Some of her credits include short stories published in Flashme, Champagne Shivers, Gemini, Literal Translations, Susurrus, ect. Northern Ireland Arts council published four of her flashes in a newly released anthology. She has been nominated for 2010 Best of the Web, and also Pushcart.)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
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20 comments:
A lovely take on migration. It would be real nice to enjoy the best of weather, always. I'm sure my friends experiencing the chilly season would agree. ;)
Very well written. Loved the detailing.
This is pure poetry - beautiful.
This is lush. Fantastic use of language and sound. I particularly like:
a harlot’s fallen skirts
and the crow's call
gone,gone
Love this.
Very, very well done!
Beautiful. Beautiful.
dry skeletal fingers tapping at the window...
a harlot's fallen skirts...
a half bird...
oh my God .. the analogies...
took my breath away...
wow...
Outstanding!
The last sentence made the most impression. The language of the entire piece is fantastic.
Great job! I loved the last two lines. They were perfect.
superb, maureen!
Awww thanks folks - appreciate that you've taken time to comment. X
maureen
I love the imagery. Great job!
I presume from the last line we can take it that a new lover in Spring will extinguish the previous one.
Don't they always Kash? lol
gg
Loved the way you carried the theme foreward with some very convincing images,
I like how she sees the tree as the one who took her lover away. A harlot that must be eliminated.
I am not sure if the lover died or just left. But this is a good and subtle use of winter a the metaphor for mourning.
Now there's an appropriate ending: get rid of all traces, all reminders of your significant other.
Beautiful imagery woven into a story of heartbreak and mourning for lost love. I like the fact that she will wait for a new season of growth to come before she finds another lover as though she has accepted that this is the time to grieve.
I feel sorry for the tree though.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
the physical, almost-but-not-quite erotic imagery to evoke the lover and the absence thereof
Something I Might Tweak
"delight in his kisses" seems a little too sappy for this particular narrator, but maybe that's because the last line is so stark.
Oh for future loves! :)
Love how she solves her problem!
Elegant writing. I really enjoyed reading this one.
yeah, cut that tree down, who needs those reminders of the past when there are luscious futures to behold? Excellently written, a little eerie and creepy with the eyes seeing through the curtain. Enjoyed this very much.
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