Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Entry #221

Tania's Revenge
by Jane Salt


At first light Tania assumed the form of a raven and settled in the branches of her neighbour’s Sycamore to wait. How dare Sally complain to the council about the noise? If anyone was a noisy neighbour it was her, always shouting about something or another. It was usually worse around tea-time when the Weakest Link was on. ‘Bank! Oh you wanker!’ could clearly be heard seeping through the walls to Tania’s kitchen. But did she ever complain? NEVER.

It wasn’t as if Tania held coven meetings often. In fact last Wednesday was the first time her house had been chosen. It was a great honour. She’d decorated the lounge a lovely shade of black especially for the occasion. Anyway, spell incantations needed to be sung at full volume for the majik to work, but the banging on the walls from next-door had completely ruined the mood.

As the High Priestess left she'd given Tania such a look. “I don’t think this’ll be a suitable venue for the future. Come on everyone, we’re off to Mavis’s to finish up.”

Tania ruffled her feathers against the chill morning air and looked at Sally’s bedroom window, curtains still drawn.

“Caw! Caw! Caw!”

“Shurrup!”

Tania continued all morning until finally, after she’d dodged several boots and even a can of hairspray, the moment she’d been waiting for arrived. Sally came into her garden to hang laundry.

Black wings took flight, then SPLAT.

“That bleedin’ bird’s shat in my face for the final time.”

24 comments:

Bernita said...

Cute...but remembering an earlier piece with a woman, her washing and a crow, I think my money's on Sally.

Laurel said...

I remember Sally! But this woman...wow. She holds a grudge!

And I must admit the secret appeal of being able to shift form and dispense justice. *wicked grin

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

What a revenge...:) Good piece of story..

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

All the best :)

Cheers
Mahesh

McKoala said...

Hilarious!

Aniket said...

Golden rule number one: Never piss off a woman. More so if she knows majik. ;)

Enjoyed reading this a lot. Very smart and funny. :D

laughingwolf said...

lol... well done, jane!

Aerin said...



Caveat

Something I Would Keep

The details - just charming, charming. WEAKEST LINK, hanging laundry in the garden - effective scene-setting

Something I Might Tweak

I might not capitalize "sycamore"

Preeti said...

hahaha...

very well written. some lines made me laugh out loud. people are beginning to stare now... :-)))

James R. Tomlinson said...

I like the direct opening of your flash, and wished for more detail regarding the eavedropping/meeting. I realize the difficulty with 250 words. As I read through the entries, I sure there'll be more bird bombs coming.

Jane said...

thanks for all the reads and comments..as some of you know, this is a spin off from one my friend claire wrote (151)i loved her character sally that much i just had to write about her too :-)

Jane said...

ps would love to return the compliments but not sure how to find your stories..can someone tell me how to look them up?

Deb Smythe said...

Ha! That was fun. Thanks for providing a laugh.

And I, too, thought your use of deatails and specifics (dodigng several boots and a can of hair spray)really added to the piece.

As far as matching commenters to their pieces. Sometimes you can click through and find their real name on their website or blogger ID. Or if they're just using a first name, you could put the alpha list of entries into a word doc and search for that name. (I'm #161:)

Aerin said...

Jane - Jason has a list here:

http://clarityofnight.blogspot.com/2010/01/silhouette-short-fiction-contest_05.html

Although some people who comment won't have entered, in which case, right on what Deb says - you can click their names to go through to their sites.

I'm #236!

Aimee Laine said...

Eh he he. Such the revenge. :)

JaneyV said...

I love that you tied this into anther entry - especially one that I enjoyed so much.

This is fab - laugh out loud funny! I loved the voice, the details and ultimately the revenge. Although now I've heard Tania's side of the story I'm not quite so sympathetic towards Sally.

I'm also Jane (JaneyV) and I'm #39

Craig said...

Ah very cool a nicely written prequel.

James R. Tomlinson said...

I'm entry #188. My characters are gentle, lovable creatures.

Jane said...

yes i know, james, i already commented on it..my fave line was 'fry you bastards' LOL

have managed to track down most of yous now and am working my way down the rest...i may be gone some time

Tara said...

Ha! I like this one. Good writing and amusing--great combination.

Leatherdykeuk said...

most amusing!

pjd said...

Really funny and yes I remember the woman hanging out her wash earlier. What I love most about this is that I instantly like the MC, and the more she reveals about herself the more I like her. The leader of the coven gave her such a look. Poor dear! She's only trying to fit in, and that mean neighbor had no cause to ruin it for her. I would love to see a YA series with this woman as the main character.

catvibe said...

Oh I love this, and yes I immediately thought of the earlier piece, tho it's been daze (intended misspell) since I read it.

Great!

#14

Kartik said...

very funny one :)