Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Entry #220

Guardian’s Gift
by Sally-Jane Cameron


The solitary figure stands silhouetted on the grey hilltop, the other mourners are long gone. A dark bird circles overhead, it's cry piercing. She draws her cloak tighter around her, but feels the icy wind leech the last remaining warmth from her. The fire in her soul had been extinguished the night she held his head in her lap. Her guardian, protector and guide had raged against the dying to remain with her, but the dark ominous presence in the room had won, claimed it's prize and taken her champion.


She feels her legs begin to crumple, her eyes closing, she welcomes the thud of the cold earth, the never getting up again, but arms catch her, strong arms she knows and trusts. Warmth slowly spreads through her body, calm washes over her, the kind she felt when he was by her side. Her heart pounds, "He has returned!" But opening her eyes, she's alone...The pain is is still there, but she feels his final gift reach into her soul, and gently start to fan the embers of her spirit.


She feels his unwavering love and devotion to her, and grieves the one gift she had never been able to give to him; she the princess, and him, her guardian. Rank had fated him to love her completely but watch while she loved others. She will not fail him! Her strength gathers through the pain. She stands, determined to make him proud; the battle for her kingdom will be won!

19 comments:

Laurel said...

Romantic and vaguely erotic for some reason. Who doesn't adore a forbidden love??

Bernita said...

I suppose even princesses need to be reminded of their duty.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Nice one. Well done.

Squidsquirts said...

I could feel the emotions come alive. Well done!

André said...

Brava, Ms Cameron.
You fit a lifetime of boundless love and absolute devotion, and all the power that brings, into 250 perfect words.
Brava.

Aniket said...

Very well written to have captured such complex emotions and put them across effortlessly! Liked it a lot.

Betty Gordon said...

A nice piece. I agree with reader, Laurel, that it is vaguely erotic.

Betty Gordon

laughingwolf said...

well done, sally-jane!

Aerin said...



Caveat

Something I Would Keep

"fan the embers of her spirit" is such a lovely line, and you get the sense of the progression from grief to determination.

Something I Might Tweak

Anytime the pronoun "it" is possessive, it's spelled "its", without an apostrophe.

Preeti said...

wow...

there is something about the forbidden which is so intriguing and exciting.
i loved this one because it flows so beautifully. it is dark. it is medieval. it reads excellently.

James R. Tomlinson said...

I'm not much of a fan of romance (I know, I know: it's my problem). Your flash does have that romantic quality to it. With the opening paragraph I was hoping for some type of clue as to where she was being led. Who is this guardian? What journey are they on? I'm reminded of the Soaps, where they rope you in for the next show.

Deb Smythe said...

I think your writing here has a very lyrical tone. A perfect match for this fantasy/romance piece.

Patsy said...

You've shown the emotions very well.

Aimee Laine said...

That was incredibly romantic! Loved it! Great job! The writing was beautiful! I could feel her sadness and her strength!

JaneyV said...

A lovely exploration of what true love is. This is about trust and deep abiding affection.

Beautifully told and unashamedly romantic. :0)

Craig said...

There are some really strong images in that opening paragraph. They set the scene magically.

Leatherdykeuk said...

very nicely told

pjd said...

I wasn't sure until the end whether she was a real princess or just someone who had a pet name of princess or something similar. This has fairy tale romance painted all over it, and I can imagine it forming the opening for a novel about the retaking of the kingdom (princessdom?) with lots of flashbacks to the love story.

catvibe said...

Romance and fantasy. Nice job!