Friday, January 08, 2010

Entry #49

The Crossing
by Me


The wind continues to fight me. I glide for a moment, passing but a few rays of sun, and it drags me back. I push forward, and it shrieks, wrestling what strength I have left out of my soul.

Nothing comes easy since the moon fell out of the sky—the darkness embraced me, kept me cloaked and safe. Now, there is nowhere to hide. Their eyes are everywhere, and their claws are sure to follow. Even the trees have begun discarding their leaves, rendering me as bare as their branches, leaving me at the mercy of death’s arrow.

Dare I stop for a moment? Can I give in to the weakness in my wings, and escape the fate of the flock of which I alone am left to dot the sky? They all fell as wooden thunderbolts from below brought them crashing down like raindrops soaking the land in their life’s blood.

There is little choice. Even as I struggle to climb further away from the ground, it pulls at me, the weight of its desire sapping my will. I aim for the ragged peaks, talons forward, then fold my wings keeping myself still as the granite upon which I grab hold. If the rocks accept my burden, if refuge is to be found, I will carry the song of my ancestors back into the night. And I will lay the future of my kind upon a nest of hope.

24 comments:

Bernita said...

That's a marvellous last paragraph.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Scary apocalypse!
Poor bird.

Four Dinners said...

A bird apocalypse indeed! Enjoyed reading the birds thoughts and agree with Bernita.

That last paragraph made it more than very good. It made it great!

Preeti said...

I could see the entire narrative as I read it. It is indeed a gift to be able to make a reader experience what you've written. I liked it very much.

Lena said...

Scary picture, very well presented. Loved reading the thoughts here.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Awesome job. Loved being a part of this mournful experience.

Aniket said...

Ol' pal (four dinners) said it all. The last lines make this more than just good.

pjd said...

It's stories like this that make the Endangered Species Act so important.

Craig said...

A real sense of tension in this piece.

JaneyV said...

I'm always delighted to read a piece written from the POV of an animal being hunted. It is an incredibly powerful device to make us think twice about the legitimacy of killing. One does not kill a bird of prey to put food on the table.

Thought provoking piece, wonderfully written.

Tessa said...

Excellent construction, terrifying imagery, beautiful language.

laughingwolf said...

fearful, but so well done, pixie dust

catvibe said...

Seeing the apocalypse through the eyes of a bird. Great idea! Sad to think of the moon falling out of the sky... Nice piece.

austere said...

Different-- I could see the bird's pov..
Very nice.

Chris Eldin said...

Love, love, love the last paragraph. I read it several times.

kashers said...

Terrific. Comes as a slap in the face to anyone thinking they have it tough.

Laurel said...

Captivating. So much about this is wonderful but the prose is somehow clean and lyrical at the same time. The understated quality is so dignified, fighting for the survival of self as well as the future of the species.

Good job.

AidanF said...

Poetic. I like the way this ends with a sense of hope.

illyriataylor said...

"I will carry the song of my ancestors". Gorgeous

Terri said...

Wow. Poor guy. I felt quite exhausted after reading this, like I'd been in battle with him. Good stuff!

Deb S said...

Poetically rendered. And from the bird's pov. Nicely done.

james r tomlinson said...

Whew! This certainly is a bleak exsistence, yet your narrator continues forward.

Dolors said...

It's really a poem in prose written from the huntet's side. Precise language.

Aerin said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Cheers,
Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like the new Starbucks paninis or the people over 35 who are exclusively on MySpace