Friday, January 08, 2010

Entry #50

Flight
by Nathalie Boisard-Beudin


It was the noise, like some wings slow flapping or a letter balled up and dumped.
Over and over.
It was the light, a flicker of shadow at the border of darkness, moving past and back.
Over and over.
It was the breath, scarce on my lips, tasting of rusted tins and melted snow.

Mud and slush were clinging to my boots, trying to stop me, claim me: This flight has no point, come and rest with us, you'd be safe. In our womb. But I rushed on, through blanketed brambles and skeleton hedges, eager to flee the noise, the light, despite blood on my spit, thirst and a fading night.
Blueness rose from the ground, radiating from the winter dusting.
And I ran. Further if not faster. I ran.

It was the noise, a heart pumping sluggish, almost dead. Yet not quite.
It was the shadow, moving at the edge of light, defining it as it grew stronger.

A handful of dust,
Dark wings smothered by day break.
Prisoner of ice.
The chapel still out of reach
The light! The light! It burns me!

26 comments:

Bernita said...

Not sure I quite grasp just what is going on, but the writing is lovely with some wonderful details .

Leatherdykeuk said...

A vampire perhaps?
Beautiful lyricism.

Megs - Scattered Bits said...

This reads like a poem. I too am not quite sure what is going on here, but I find myself drawn in all the same. As poetry, I just love it. That's how it reads to me. The imagery and language is strong. I drowned in it on first read-through, then I went back and read it properly. :grins: Lovely.

Four Dinners said...

Very lyrical use of words. I enjoyed it even if I'm uncertain exactly....or perhaps that's the intention? Joining someones story at a point where you wouldn't know for sure?

Hints at a vampire perhaps or something like that.

Made me want to read more to find out!

Preeti said...

I liked how you alternated between prose and verse. I loved - "you'd be safe. In our womb."
The verse at the end is almost like an incantation.

PEOPLE, PLACES, VOICES, FACES... said...

I've done this before, Run without knowing why; felt the "breath, scarce on my lips, tasting of rusted tins"; needed the running and the breathlessness; felt the light burn...
Excellently expressed.

Ranee

Lena said...

It flows like music. Good word choice. Wish I could understand more of it though, but maybe it is just me.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Haunting imagery. Confusing for me, too, though I love your lyrical word choices.

Aniket said...

Ditto to Sarah...

The lyrical word choice worked for me. Reminded me of the flight of Icarus...

pjd said...

If I get all the hints, this appears to be someone turning into a vampire and trying to escape that fate; in the end, he is unable to and perishes. If I've read it wrong, I apologize. Anyway, I really like much of the imagery here and the mystery of it. It feels like a puzzle for the reader, the way you've written it.

Nevine said...

This whole piece read like a poem. Beautiful language. Beautiful imagery.

Nevine

Craig said...

I liked so many senses addressed so well.

JaneyV said...

I don't need to know what's going on I just love being bathed in such beautiful prose. Lovely.

Aimee Laine said...

Very poetic. The lilt and flow was just beautiful even though I was a bit lost. I kept wanting to read because the words were so pretty!

laughingwolf said...

vampiric, but so nicely done

word verif: comatee

Kartik said...

Lovely prose!

Patsy said...

Almost poetic desperation.

SzélsőFa said...

thanks for a strange and poetic journey!

catvibe said...

You do wonder don't you? I love how this was written. Stunning imagery and a sense of fear and movement throughout.

Chris Eldin said...

I'm left confused, but with a residual fear... I'm also thinking vampiric?

Laurel said...

through blanketed brambles and skeleton hedges

Gorgeous.

I like the chiaroscuro imagery here and the opening paragraph bowled me over. Awesome words.

illyriataylor said...

oh vampires, I love you so.

Terri said...

On my first reading I hadn't a clue but simply enjoyed the imagery - which is great! On second reading I agree entirely with PJD... and it's beautifully done.

Deb Smythe said...

A cross between poetry and prose. Very lyrical.

james r tomlinson said...

Stylistically, I'd use some white space inbetween those initial sentences. Nice effort.

Aerin said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Cheers,
Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like the new Starbucks paninis or the people over 35 who are exclusively on MySpace