Friday, January 08, 2010

Entry #51

On The Eve of My Destruction
by Yvonne Heidt


Circling death,
Round and round.
Crying cold winter tears
That fall like frozen rain
Into the desert
That used to resemble
A hopeful heart.

Tendrils of misty fog
Float in my wake,
Showing the opportunities
Lost in the furies
Of the wind that
Blows down the
Canyons of lost dreams.

Grief weighs down
A heavy soul.
The wings of life and
The energy of love
Disappear in the wake
Of bitter disappointment.
Again.

Do I have it in me?
The moon shows
Her benevolence and
Lights the way.
As I spread
My weary wings
For the last flight.

21 comments:

Sarah Laurenson said...

Beautiful words for a sad occassion.

Bernita said...

Very well done.

Linda M said...

SWEET!!!

Meghan said...

Tendrils of misty fog
Float in my wake,
Showing the opportunities
Lost in the furies
Of the wind that
Blows down the
Canyons of lost dreams.

This is my favorite part. Such wonderful description. Great job.

pjd said...

This has a very satisfactory structure and symmetry to it. Out of random curiosity, I took the middle line of each stanza and found that together, they alone make quite a passable little poem:

That fall like frozen rain
Lost in the furies
The energy of love
Lights the way.

OK, not perfect, but an interesting foil to the mood you create with the full poem and a direct contrast to the title.

Regarding the poem: it is an ode to self-fulfilling prophesy. Someone in despair who expects the worst and simply rises to meet their doom. Although I don't really know what grief weighs on her soul or where she's flying to, I like the poem for its elegance and completeness. Nice work.

Leatherdykeuk said...

what a sad piece!

Four Dinners said...

Oh my! Very sad and very beautiful.

Much more of this and I'll start liking poetry!!!

Vonnie said...

Thank you all for taking the time to read my piece and leave your very nice comments.

JaneyV said...

Yvonne - this is very beautiful. The images are magical
Tendrils of misty fog
Float in my wake,

being my favourite.

I hope that when I come to circle death I won't have so much sadness and regret.

Very nice work.

Craig said...

A palpable sense of weariness. Well done.

Lena said...

Very nicely done. So beautiful.

SzélsőFa said...

bitterness and desparation - as someone said, like a weary march towards one's fate. great visuals!

laughingwolf said...

sad indeed :(

catvibe said...

Excellent poetry. I love the melancholy feel and the imagery is beautiful.

Chris Eldin said...

Evocative and elegant poetry. Nicely written!

Laurel said...

I don't know what is more relentless, the beauty or the sadness. The two wound together are very powerful.

illyriataylor said...

beautiful imagery.

j said...

Suicide. So very sad, leaves me feeling as I did when a loved one died this way.

Beautifully written!

I chose this one.

Jean Ann

raine said...

This is lovely.
Very expressive imagery.

james r tomlinson said...

Very expressive writing, with a sad, but beautiful outlook. Kind of like Chopin's The Awakening.

Aerin said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Cheers,
Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like Sarah Palin's hair or the enigmatic career of Justin Timberlake.