by Janel Gradowski
Damn bird. Two weeks of waking to its screeching.
Daddy said ravens bring bad luck.
Knock on wooden window sill twelve times to bring good luck. Five sips of water to produce happy thoughts. Turn TV on and off eleven times to guard against electronic gremlins. Say hello to morning news anchor like he could actually hear just because he is gorgeous. Flip penny on coffee table seven times to bring good fortune.
Mama said ravens are death omens.
Open and close living room curtains eight times to thwart lightening strikes. Lock and unlock front door ten times to prevent lightening storms. Flush toilet twice to keep out demons from underworld.
Grandpa said never leave the house when a raven is outside.
Open and close refrigerator nine times to ensure wishes will be granted. Open refrigerator once more to see if food has magically appeared. Curse three times to feel better. Open empty kitchen cabinets six times to ward off ghosts. Bang head on wall seven times to make stupid mind pay for not buying more groceries. Listen to stomach growl four times. Watch raven land on empty bird feeder.