Friday, January 08, 2010

Entry #54

The Black Hawk
by Cecile B. Smith


It was cold. She could feel it down to her marrow. She had no memory of how she wound up in the woods or how long she had been there. All she knew was this black hawk was following her; or should she say she was following it. Like it was guiding her; but where she did not know. Stumbling in the snow, she saw a cabin ahead. Was it her imagination or was it real. She would soon find out.

She approached the cabin with trepidation, not knowing who or what she would find. Slowly making her way, she noticed movement within the cabin. She halted in her steps; thoughts running wild in her mind. There was no place for her to hide when the giant stalked out the door. His gaze immediately found her. Her breath caught; she knew this man but her mind was a haze. He slowly made his way to her; just in time, she collapsed.

She woke to find this man hovering over her with some hot liquid. “My lady, please drink. This will thaw you out some,” he spoke with such reverence in his deep voice. Something stirred within her soul when he spoke. She did not want to insult the man who saved her life; she took the cup and drank. She noticed a black hawk tattoo on his arm. He stood and bowed, “My Queen, you had us worried. We thought we lost you. I am glad to have you home.”

23 comments:

Sarah Laurenson said...

Nice. Stand alone or the start of something more.

Bernita said...

A certain sweetness...
I hope it is part of something larger and longer.

pjd said...

Interesting beginning. Or, rather, ending that is really the beginning to a backstory story. I mean, it would be a good first chapter of a book that then describes the story that brought her to this point.

Leatherdykeuk said...

sweet vignette

Janel said...

This really does sound like it could be added to and turned into something larger. I liked it as it is now too!

Kimber Chin said...

I really enjoyed this starter. I want to read more to find out the answers. Great teaser!

My Blog 2.0 (Dottie) said...

Great beginnings here Cecile, hope there's more to come!

Dottie :)

Houston A.W. Knight said...

OMG, This is awesome! Yes, I want to read more. I want to know what happened to the Queen...BTW Cecile where did you find the name to the man called Black Hawk? ;-)

Hugs
Hawk

JaneyV said...

Cecile - just as has been mentioned before I think this would make a fantastic beginning to a much bigger story. It has a real cinematic feel to it. I really want to know the story of how the Queen came to be so lost and confused, and who is this enigmatic Black Hawk?

Craig said...

I can only echo what has been said before, great start to something much bigger.

Kartik said...

The cult of the black hawks? You have a great start here!

Lena said...

Nicely done. I wish it could be a part of something bigger. Maybe a short story?

laughingwolf said...

i wanna know more...

JennJ said...

OOO girl you have to continue this one I love it! Great job!!! Now we just need more!!! lol

Aniket said...

We all want more...
Now that she has reached home, let the party begin. ;)

catvibe said...

Yes, as has been said, I was left with more questions about this character and how she got there. A great beginning to an epic novel!

kashers said...

Has a fairytale feel to it. Like others, I'd like to know more.

Chris Eldin said...

I also, want to know more about this mysterious Hawk!!! Questions abound... hoping this is part of a longer story.

Laurel said...

Echoes to the other comments. I absolutely want to read more.

Deb Smythe said...

Yeah, you could go forward or flashback from here.

james r tomlinson said...

I want to know more of the specifics, like why was she in the woods, or how did she get lost? You definitely piqued my interest.

Cecile said...

Ms Sarah, thank you. It is the start of something for me.

Bernita, thank you. I will be working on this story. I am very intrigued myself as to the story.

pjd, thank you. I just wet my feet with this one. As I work on, I will take it one way or the other. The Queen will get her story told.

Leatherdykeyk, thank you.

Janel, thank you.

Kimber! Hi! Thanks for coming! Great teaser, well I do try. Wet your appetite for more?

Dottie! Thank you for coming see my story. I loved your werewolf story. There will be more to come. At least I am hoping she will speak more to me.

Houston! Thank you for coming by. The support for this is beyond what I thought. Thank you! Have no idea where I would have gotten the name Black Hawk from.

JaneyV, thank you. I can not say enough, thank you for your kind words. The story will get told. One day.

Craig, thank you.

Kartik, Black Hawk's ~ the Queens followers maybe. Her protection.

Lena, thank you. Short story, full story... a story in the making for sure. Thank you.

laughingwolf, more will be told I promise. Thank you.

JennJ, HI! Thanks for coming over to show support my friend! You know I will give you more. One day.

Aniket, thank you.

catvibe, thank you. I am glad that I could leave you with questions to be answered; as a story should do.

kashers, thank you. More to come, promise.

Chris, thank you.

Laurel, thank you very much.

Deb, thank you for your words.

james r tomlinson, thank you very much. I am glad that I could pique your interest. Hoping to hold it one day.

Thank you all for your kind words. You have all touched my heart, thank you.

Aerin said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Cheers,
Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like Sarah Palin's hair or the enigmatic career of Justin Timberlake.