by Four Dinners
A large crow settled on the skylight and peered down onto the scene below.
The Mortician looked at the body on the slab. He frowned and looked at his assistant.
“Where is his left leg?” he asked
“According to the report” she answered, “it was torn off when he was hit by the blades of a forklift truck in the warehouse where he worked when a crow flew in and distracted the driver.”
“And his right leg?” enquired the Mortician.
“He fell off the ledge of the warehouse door after being hit by the forklift truck. An articulated lorry reversing onto the door removed his right leg” explained the assistant, "apparently the crow flew into the cab windscreen and distracted the lorry driver as well."
“I see” said the Mortician, “and what of his left arm?”
“The report says” she continued, “he lost that whilst trying to move his injured right leg, after the fall, from the wheels of the articulated lorry. It took both his left arm and right leg off”
“Oh dear” said the Mortician, “and his right arm?”
“The report states that he attempted to use his right arm to climb back into the warehouse. Unfortunately the lorry continued to reverse and severed his right arm as it reached the door”
“Poor soul” said the Mortician, “and in what capacity was he employed in this warehouse?”
“He was the Health and Safety Manager"........
The large crow let out a squawk and flew off into the night.