Saturday, January 09, 2010

Entry #79

Defender of the City
by Elizabeth Gallenberg

"And don't stay out too late!" I called after Sam as he leapt off the fire escape into the colorless twilight sky, cape streaming out behind him. A small flock of startled birds exploded up in his wake.

I turned back to the kitchen and froze.

A hulking man covered in white dust stood before me. "Cooperate and I won‘t hurt you," he rasped. "It's MetaMan I want."

I quickly sidestepped so the table was between us. "'re Sodium Bicarbonightmare!"

We circled, my back against the wall. Keeping his eyes on me, he swatted jars and dishes off the countertops, smashing them to the floor. "Don't make it hard on yourself, lady. You know how this works.”

"I...think I‘m going to faint." I staggered, then collapsed, rolling under the table.


"Sam, ten-thirty IS too late," I called when I heard him clambering back in from the fire escape.

"What happened?" He rushed to my side and surveyed the scene: the intruder sweeping up the last of the spilled flour and shattered crockery, cowering from the Super Soaker full of vinegar I held pointed at
his powdery face.

“The usual,” I said cheerfully, returning the squirt gun to its hiding place under the table, with the heat ray, sonic disruptor, rhotonium gems, and Glock. "Why do they never suspect the girlfriend?”

“I'll get you, MetaMan,” the villain snapped, brandishing the dustpan. “Your powers won't work next time!”

I threw up my hands in disgust. Sam smiled and kissed my forehead.


Bernita said...

We need more girlfriend-of-the-superhero stories!

Anthony Rapino said...

Nice! Very funny.

Aniket Thakkar said...

Hahaha! Okay you stole my thunder.

I was gonna submit a powerpuff girls story, now I'll have to submit something else. :D :D

And Sodium Bicarbonightmare!? Seriously? :D :D

Either you love chemistry or hate chemistry. Well I hated chemistry as a subject but the chemistry between these two characters - I'm so loving it. :D

Unknown said...

What villain would ever expect to be thwarted by the super heroes girlfriend? Very fun!

Aimee Laine said...

Oh how funny! Love the made up words and the imagery!

PJD said...

Love this, especially the vinegar. I'm a little confused by the "your powers won't work next time," though... it makes me think that MetaMan is the girlfriend.

Craig said...

Nice twist on the classic damsel in distress.

Sarah Laurenson said...


This is great!

JaneyV said...

Brilliant Elizabeth! I love a story that can make me laugh out loud. Sodium Bicarbonightmare brought down by a vinegar supersoaker. I can imagine the fizz!

Totally enjoyable. Well done!

Kartik said...

Don't you just love chemical warfare? :P
I want to hear more adventures of MetaMan!!

Lena said...

That was hilarious. I really enjoyed reading this one!

catvibe said...

Really enjoyable, playful and sweet.

Kate said...

MetaMan - a perfect name for this character! Very clever and well-written.

laughingwolf said...

lol... excellent write :)

Laurel said...

This was so fun to read! Also, were you on acid when you wrote this? Acetic acid, that is. Get it? Get it?

Great job! Fun read and a cool twist on the superhero genre!

DILLIGAF said...

Oh this is GREAT!!!! More humour in this comp than ever before and...this in particular...supurbly written!!!!

I thank you.

Kurt Hendricks said...

Very funny, and well written to boot. Please make this into a graphic novel!

fairyhedgehog said...

I laughed out loud and couldn't stop at Sodium Bicarbonightmare.

I thought she'd had it until she produced the Super Soaker full of vinegar. This is just so funny.

Deb Smythe said...


kashers said...

Sodium Bicarbonightmare, indeed. My screen received a full spray of laughter with that.

Thanks for making my belly ache. Now, to the kitchen for that tissue I need to clean the screen.

Anonymous said...

cute story. liked it.

Chris Eldin said...

LOL! And I'm just about to start a science fair project with my fourth-grader.
Thanks for the smile and laughs!! Very nicely done!

james r tomlinson said...

Playfully done. When I think of superheroes, I envision kids role playing, doing the whole "make pretend" role. I get that here.

Anonymous said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like Sarah Palin's hair or the enigmatic career of Justin Timberlake.