Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Forties Club Finalist #6

Four Brothers
by Karla Tanay


There were four of us at the start. That was how Father willed it, each to balance the others so the world remained whole. But shortly after our conception an argument was born. Four equals were too many. Surely one would be least and another best and two somewhere between them. We argued at length over our stations. In the end we decided he came last. He did not take it well.

“You will soon learn what you are without me.”

With those words he and his works vanished. The land grew parched in an instant. What was once green lay dying or dead. Tearless cries echoed around us as all that lived crumbled to dust.

We witnessed these events in fascinated horror. Such power we never knew he possessed!

“Perhaps we are equals after all,” I muttered.

And I knew then, we must find a way to bring him back.

17 comments:

Sarah Laurenson said...

Fantastic world building. Lovely.

JR's Thumbprints said...

I like the descriptions of the setting, how his quick exit sets it off.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

This was very gripping, and seemed to go by so quickly.

Aimee Laine said...

A bit like The Bee Movie and the effect they have when they stop their work. ;) At least that's where my head went. :)

Peter Dudley said...

Earth, Air, Water, and Fire? And Water was deemed least? That's how I read it.

Aniket said...

I'm amazed how unique each piece is. I always imagined them as four dragons but yeah, four gems suits just as fine.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Nice and concise with lots more to tell now - well done.

Deb Smythe said...

Nice! Loved your unique take on the prompt.

Precie said...

Thoughtful and thought-provoking. I don't feel hopeful, though, that they can bring the fourth brother back.

sea minor said...

really well set out in your opening paragraph.
nothing wasted. a good read.

MRMacrum said...

Nothing is so precious until it is gone. Very well done.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Hi Karla!

It seems the fourth was the most important after all....

Dottie :)

fairyhedgehog said...

I found this mysterious and intriguing. I had a sense that the three remaining brothers got what they deserved.

Vincent Kale said...

I love elemental stories! I was caught wondering which of the elements was our narrator. Certainly not Fire, who would be glad to be rid of Water. Probably not Earth, who is too stubborn to admit a mistake. Are you Air then?

Nice and concise.

JaneyV said...

I love that you describe the elements as squabbling brothers. One always has to be Alpha. Now if they had been sisters ....

Laurel said...

The elements as brothers, created to balance as the father willed it.

Epic.

Great allegorical feel to this. Good job!

Damsel Flies said...

Thank you to everyone for the kind comments! I'm glad to have entertained you.

I've never written a photo-inspired flash before, but this story popped into my mind the instant I saw the photo. I looked at the jewels and my first thought was, no blue? Missing blue jewel combined with the sand & dead plant/seaweed I figured water must have taken a hike and left the rest out to dry.

And to answer Vincent's question, yes, Air is the narrator. I figured he'd feel somewhat superior to Water, lording over him the way he does :)