Sunday, July 17, 2011

Entry #48

RIF
by Darby Krenshaw


Peter stared over the cubicle at the conference room. The buzz and crackle of ions radiating from it made him grimace.

“Hey, what’s with the four angry hot chicks?” Michael nodded at the glass enclosed room and sipped his coffee.

“Sh-shh!” Peter frantically waved. “They’ll hear you.”

*

“Back-stabbing hag!” Anila screeched. Her white blonde hair whipped around her head as she hurled a conference room chair at Terra.

Terra’s green eyes narrowed as she side stepped the flying chair. It stuck in the wall with a thwungg. “Blow all you want bitch. You’re nothing without me.”

“Please.” Una brushed tears away with a long graceful hand. “We need to stick together.”

“Shut up!” Terra and Anila shrieked.

Tandr, seeing her chance, sent a fire ball down the center of the table, sending Una crashing into the back wall and setting fire to the projection screen.

Terra dove over the flaming table, wrapping her strong brown arms around Tandr’s neck.

*

“What the hell?” Michael crouched behind the cubicle, his wings tucked into his back, coffee cup forgotten on the floor.

Peter sighed. “With the slow down of souls, we can no longer afford earth, wind, fire and water. We have to consolidate to two elementals. They’ve just been told.”

“They’re tearing the place apart! Aren’t you in charge of security?” Michael pointed at the pearly insignia on Peter’s lapel.

“Yes.” Peter sighed again, picking up the phone.

“Hey,” Michael tugged on Peter’s sleeve. “Did they say anything about the archangel department?”

27 comments:

pegjet said...

Clever. That last line got me smiling. Then I went back and made sure I understood the girls' names.

This worked so well as 3 scenes--difficult to do in 250 words. And 6 distinct characters and everything is understood. I'm impressed.

Catrina said...

I'll have to brush up on my angel mythology.

Clever twist. I enjoyed this one.

Precie said...

Smart and funny. Great work.

Aimee Laine said...

Oh my! This was hilarious! Sad in a way because it happens in corporate America much the same way (yet without the throwing of literal fire). ;) Ha! Great!

j a zobair said...

Another fun, super creative take on the prompt! Great last line.

Joni said...

You left me smiling. The POV changes were very effective. Funny and clever. Kudos.

Ellis Bergstresser said...

This one cracked me up. Very clever, very well done.

fairyhedgehog said...

I was amazed you got so much into 250 words! It was a fun take on the prompt.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Damn...even Heaven is getting downsized...this economy sucks! LOLOL

Dottie :)

bluesugarpoet said...

Funny! War in the heavenlies - is that why it's so dang hot where I live??!! ~Jana A.

Old Kitty said...

LOL!!!!! I really like how it's set in an office space! LOL! This is truly fun and witty and fabulous! take care
x

Jade L Blackwater said...

I love how you drop these characters into the corporate world. (Albert Brooks' Defending Your Life is one of my favorite stories.)

Peter Dudley said...

Brilliant from top to bottom. I LOVE how you don't reveal Peter and Michael's true identity until the wings tuck. This is masterful writing, with a delightfully derisive smugness. Divinely inspired, no doubt! One of my favs.

Peter Dudley said...

OK, can't help myself. Can I just add that I love how the RIF is completely consistent with a Dilbert type of office? The news was passed down, and management saw fit to allow the workers to fight it out. Michael is only really worried about his own job. Security reluctantly engages, but by phone... no doubt to call in some underling to actually do the dirty work. The more I think about this, the more I love it. And all in 250 words.

Richard Levangie said...

Fun and clever. I wish I had thought to write something like this!

Mikki said...

Hilarious! That punch line read like a comic strip.

Thank you for sharing!

C Sonberg Larson said...

Very clever. I really like this. Creative and hilarious. Such an enjoyable read!

Aidan Fritz said...

Fun. My first thought was that you were capturing a start-up because I've seen blowups like that before. Course, halving a department in one of the biggest (although I'd wager their only the 2nd largest... especially if they're suffering cuts) employers is going to rile things a bit.

JaneyV said...

Darby this is absolutely wonderful. You wrote three scenes in 250 words? That in itself takes divine creativity. Then add in sharp and witty dialogue and characterization and you have a fantastic read.

Love. This.

Aniket said...

Haha. I love 'Office Space'. I love 'Dilbert'. I love 'this'.
Like Janey said - you have divine creativity!
This was absolutely amazing. And fun. And amazing.

SzélsőFa said...

congratulations, Darby!

Mona said...

Absolutely brilliant! Both in form and content! This is indeed 'creation'!

Congratulations!

Wendy said...

Darby, congratulations!! :)

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I missed this one in the contest. I was sure I had read them all. Great work. Congrats to all the winners.

___Wills

Erratic Thoughts said...

Hey hearty COngratulations n a toast to you :)

Great work!

jason evans said...

OMG. This was hilarious and super creative! What a great, great piece! I feel like I could really see the guys' reactions to the smackdown in the room. You married humor, creativity, comedic timing, imagery, and flawless writing. A perfect score.

Congratulations on 1st Place!

Peter Dudley said...

Congrats on the win. I knew this'd be a contender.