Der Morgenstern
by Jodi MacArthur
The demon raced upon the star. Its legs were liquid mercury, its hair onyx and flame. Upon its fingers a platter of twilight sat. A black hole ripped through the platter, an inverted tornado rose from it, sucking the life from the star.
The faster the demon leapt, the more exhausted the star became until the particles loosened and blasted into a thousand dark voids.
The demon fell into the chaos of dead stardust. He licked his mercury fingers and closed the platter of twilight like a book.
“Libra, your scales are unbalanced.” The human crouched upon an air disk, breath tubes inserted into her neck like piercings. She wore a slick white suit and wielded an X-800 Obliteration gun.
Libra held up his fluid fingers and motioned them in the silent tongue they both understood. Says who?
“The Big Eye.”
A giant red eye opened behind the woman. A serpentine slit of sapphire glowed from the iris. Another blink and it was gone.
The woman fired up her X-800. Dark hair fell across her brow. “The Big Eye here by punishes you to the Seventh Hell of Dementia.” She glanced at invisible entities. “Second floor, boys.”
No, no, anything but that! Libra motioned.
“You should have taken your meds.” The woman smiled, aimed and fired.
A bright light shot into his eyes. Arms bundled to his chest, a needle of fire in his shoulder, Libra was rolled away into the void.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
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27 comments:
Wow. There's layers upon layers here of starlight, demons, and madness.
The twists in reality make it uncertain what is actually happening, but I love the sci-fi angle, and the too-human desperation of Libra at the end. J-Mac storytelling at its best.
Lovely writing. Poetry with meaning. Excellent.
Quite the fantasy. I can't tell if it's true sci-fi or the Libra's mind in some sort of dream-like state. ;)
Way cool take Jodes! Love it!
Chris ~ its like you can read my mind or something man. You nailed it. It’s one of my explorations into the open interpretation narrative stories. There are actually three aspects (stories) someone can pull out of this depending from what angle or background they are coming from. Thanks for finding me here. I see you have a story up tonight, I’ll check it out!
Charles ~ Hey you! What a surprise to see you here. Thank you so much for the compliment. I’m glad you found it so.
Thank you, Aimee. It was intentionally open to interpretation. Thanks for commenting. Appreciate it.
Thanks, Mike S! I hope you will have an entry here. xx
I was so puzzled until "you should have taken your meds" and then it all fell into place.
Jeez, Jodi, where the hell did you just take me? Crazy brilliant! :-)
Regards,
Col
Is this real or fantasy? The inner workings of the demented mind or science fantasy born of the same? Nicely done...
Dottie :)
Fairyhedgehog~ Thank you! And can I say I love your pen name. Adorable
Col~ To the stars and back, Mate! Thanks, and I wonder how you found me here. Hmmm
Hi Dottie, I appreciate your ponderings, glad you enjoyed.
And behind door number three...scary as hell - and I like it! Which reminds me - gotta go take my meds. :) Great writing! ~Jana A.
Ha ;-) Thank you, Jana!
WOW, Jodi, you rock my friend! That was seriously cool. I loved the imagery, and the sci-fi angle too. So much packed into 250 words.
Jodi! You're here!
Sorry it took me so long to catch up and read your story. Amazing, as I've come to expect.
Sci-fi, meds, a cool gun, and the sadness of slipping beyond reality.
Stellar flash.
I hate to use the term prose poetry, and that's not what I mean. I think I mean that this is brilliant in that every word fits perfectly into its place. Not just in meaning but in cadence, texture, gravity. This is dazzling. I love it. One of my favorites.
What a ride! I love how you combine larger-than-life sci-fi with human perspective.
Poor Libra!!! But what a way to go!! Excellent! Take care
x
Your descriptions are wonderful, as is your world building. I felt transported into another land. Nice work.
Thank you for sharing!
beautiful descriptions! I especially like He licked his mercury fingers and closed the platter of twilight like a book. succulent.
Some vivid, hyper writing, and lots to think about. Well done!
Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate the feedback.
This is just so frenetic and gorgeous. I wanted it to keep going. I wanted to hear you put words together, longer.
"The woman fired up her X-800. Dark hair fell across her brow. " -- You've just described my dream date. :)
I loved the place you took us, and the fact that you deserted us there to find our ways back, was umm.. perfect for the setting. Thanks for sharing this.
Jodi - your use of language in this piece is stunning. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Your first few paragraphs in this are so amazingly elegant, I was immediately swept away, and I loved where you took me - to a world between the worlds. Excellent work, Jodi.
Thanks again for commenting everyone. I really enjoyed writing this, and I'm super glad you all enjoyed reading.
A flight into psychosis? That's the pull I felt. I like the challenge of the piece. Solidly written. I especially liked the pacing and sentence structure.
Thanks, Jason!
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