Sunday, July 17, 2011

Entry #55

by C. Sonberg Larson

Crying, mother young.

See eyes, watery and blue, skin wet, soul ancient.


Birthing another.

Light blinding. Sterile, white room.

Cold air.

Screaming. Intense pain. Wailing. Pushing.

Rushing blood, warm, out held hand.

Red appears, light filters, skin and womb.

Here, I am, wondering, waiting. Vulnerable and hairless. Dependent.

Lives past, toiling and suffering, mistakes noted.

Repeating life. Again chosen.

Gone are months of warmth and safety.

Awaiting birth.

Miracle or retribution?

Unfair, so unfair.

Retribution or miracle?

Birth awaiting.

Safety and warmth of months are gone.

Chosen again. Life repeating.

Noted mistakes, suffering and toiling, past lives.

Dependent. Hairless and vulnerable, waiting, wondering, am I here.

Womb and skin filters light, appears red.

Hand held out. Warm, blood rushing.

Pushing. Wailing. Pain intense. Screaming.

Air cold.

Room, white, sterile. Blinding light.

Another birthing.


Ancient soul, wet skin, blue and watery eyes see

young mother, crying.

(Please note that this poem is a palindrome—it reads the same forward and backward.)


Precie said...

Holy frijoles. I wouldn't have realized it's a palindrome, but now that I see it, I bow at your feet.

Catrina said...

That was cool. And I thought pantoums were tough!

Just wow.

Aerin said...

I think I would have realized it, but I bow at your feet with Precie nonetheless.

Catvibe said...

I figured out that it was a palindrome at the last line. I am in total awe, this is amazing and it totally works. The structure itself also happens to make a pretty cool shape poem.

The name Samsara is perfect as metaphor of reincarnation is clear in the structure and repetition, implied spirals and circles. Just awesome.

Choco said...

Whoa.. I am so awed!

yamini said...

Wow...this was really amazing.. :) salute!

j a zobair said...

Okay, the imagery here would have been more than enough to stand on its own, but a palindrome to boot??? HOW??? :)

In other words, incredible.

M.G. Ainsworth said...


Aerin said...

Aww, I wish I'd said what j a said.

Aimee Laine said...

I love palindromes! Brave for putting a whole poem to it! :)

csonberglarson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
csonberglarson said...

Precie, Catrina, Aerin, Catvibe, Choco, Yamini, JA, M.G., and Aimee, thank you for the very kind words.

Michael Morse said...

Just to prove I'm an idiot I decided to spend seventeen hours composing my own palindrome.

Awesome that was. Was that awesome!

Phil W said...

Good job. The palindrome curve in the middle caught me by surprise. Did you follow a meter of any kind?

Katherine Tomlinson said...

I add my awe at your awesomeness. Talk about your fearful symmetry.

fairyhedgehog said...

That's amazing, a palindrome that length! Kudos!

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Nicely done, haven't seen a palindrome in the comps before! Rebirth or retribution, excellent.

Dottie :)

bluesugarpoet said...

Amazing! And here I was just thinking it was the "circle of life". :) Jana A.

wrath999 said...

great job !!!

C Sonberg Larson said...

Thanks everyone for the words of support. I am truly humbled by your comments.

Michael Morse, you cracked me up! Thanks for the compliment.

Phil W, Thank you. To answer your question, nope, I didn't follow a meter of any kind.

Katherine Tomlinson, Compliments don't get much better than that. Thanks very much. I am very humbled.

Fairyhedgehog (love your name). Thank you for the kudos!

Dottie, Thanks. I'm honored to be the first palindrome entry.

Bluesugarpoet (Jana). Thanks very much. I really appreciate your kind words.

Wrath999, Thank you very much!

Peter Dudley said...

Being a lover of wordplay, I saw the palindrome right at the midpoint, where the mirror sits. And I love how it unwinds in a sort of reverse-forward, not undoing what was made but making a new thing in its motion. Very, very clever indeed.

Old Kitty said...

Oh wow. I'm in awe - it's got such soul and emotion and is also really clever!! Thanks for sharing, take care

C Sonberg Larson said...

Thanks, Peter. I love wordplay as well. Your compliments are much appreciated and very humbling.

Old Kitty, Thanks so much. It means a lot to read a review like this from another writer.

Mikki said...

Very, very nice. This reminds me of the song "Lightning Crashes" by Live. The perfect subject for a palindrome, and masterfully executed.

Thank you for sharing!

Jade L Blackwater said...

What I like most about this piece is the heartbeat quality of the lines!

Richard Levangie said...

I just enjoyed the flow and rhythm. It's lovely.

C Sonberg Larson said...

Yes, Mikki, I can see why that song would come to mind. Thanks very much!

Thanks Jade, I appreciate the kind words.

Richard, The flow and rhythm were important to me. Thanks for the compliment.

Bruce Roush said...

Terrific poem. Blown away by the creativity that made it a palindrome.

Aidan Fritz said...

Cleverly constructed. I like the sense of reincarnation embedded in this poem.

P.S. My word verification "secret".

C Sonberg Larson said...

Bruce, thank you for the kind words.

Aiden, thanks for the compliment! "Secret"---cool!

Aniket said...

Am I allowed to curse? I so want to use the curse words right now. In a good way of course. This is so effin' awesome! How did you ever manage to pull it off?

I feel proud if everything just fits into a structure. If it follows any sort of rhythm, I sing and dance at my happy song. But you, you do all that and put it in a palindrome. I used to hate overachievers in school, but here, I'm just awed by your prowess. Hailing frequencies open!

JaneyV said...

There's a lot of awe being expressed here and with good reason. I love the idea of birth and rebirth and using the device of a palindrome was both effective and really quite brilliant. Kudos.

C Sonberg Larson said...

Aniket, I can't tell you how flattered I am to read such a wonderful review. Thank you very much. It is such an honor to be in the midst of such amazing talent. When I read that authors appreciate my work I am speechless and humbled.

Janey V, It doesn't get better than "brilliant". Thank you very much for the kudos. It really means a lot to receive positive feedback from other writers.

L.A Speedwing said...

When talent is there, it is there. And you have it.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Not only clever but meaningful. Excellent!

Wub2Write said...

Absoluely amazing, Cindy! :-)

Hobo Annie said...

Dude, you rock, you dude!(Sorry, I couldn't resist. Think I'd better stick to haiku.)
But seriously,this is wonderful. I second what everyone else has so eloquently said.

Carol J. Amato said...

This is SO COOL, Cindy! What an accomplishment! Unreal!

jason evans said...

Love how the flip of the palindrome is the flip of POV. I've never attempted such a thing, but it must be very hard. Damn fine job!

Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!