The Palace
by Sandra Cormier
The palace was once pink; now it was red.
Pink like the Princess’s sari, glittering like her diamond earrings.
Niya had often graced the covers of magazines, posing with heads of state and polo champions. Now she pressed her bejeweled hand against the glass of her prison while flames reflected the rage of some faceless entity that no longer believed in royalty.
Smoke, the color of Niya’s eye shadow, curled around the magazine covers which her daughter had lovingly framed and arranged along Niya’s bedroom wall.
Her daughter had treasured the pictures almost as much as her pony drawing which had likely already turned to ashes along with her school books and toys.
Her adopted son – her heir – was away at school and would never see his video game collection turn to molten lumps of plastic.
Niya’s almond eyes glittered with tears, which evaporated almost instantly in the dry air. Tears of sadness but not remorse. Tears of love but not guilt.
She heard sirens in the distance. Soon, flashing red lights tore through the gates, like eyes seeking out the flames.
She pressed harder on the glass. It buckled.
Someone loves me, she thought as her pink sari sailed behind her like a comet’s tail.
The palace had once been pink, but now it was red.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
26 comments:
Despite all the modern indicators (magazines, sirens, etc.), I feel like there's an ancient quality in the eoman's plight. The first thing that came to my mind was the practice of sati...a kind of political sati. Powerful work. I'm glad inspiration struck you after all.
Fantastic story.
Interesting take on the prompt. Very visual writing.
Beautiful imagery! I love the use of the sari.
Very relevant. I also love the imagery with the Sari.
Now she pressed her bejeweled hand against the glass of her prison while flames reflected the rage of some faceless entity that no longer believed in royalty.
That right there sets the tone. It's always 'someone' who disagrees and that 'someone' ruins it for others. Very well done. :)
It's a very vivid picture of a moment in time which encompasses a whole backstory. I wanted to know what happened to the son and daughter!
You guys wake things up in my brain that I never knew existed. Huzzah to the writing community!
Like a snapshot of a picture in time... and I also wondered why? Flames self inflicted?
Dottie :)
Not in this case, Dottie.
How sad!! I really feel for this mother. I feel she's been neglected. I do hope that someone does love her! Take care
x
I like the foreignness the story captures. It is a sad story with a sense of hope in the ending.
Repeating the first line makes the end powerful.
I like the juxtaposition of riches and a prison - that metaphor works on several levels. Nicely done! ~Jana
I find myself wondering if she's torched the palace herself, is preparing to turn from the old and walking toward something new... and I wonder where this character will go next? Intriguing.
I would've omitted that last line: "The palace had once been pink, but now it was red."
You had the perfect ending at: "Someone loves me, she thought as her pink sari sailed behind her like a comet’s tail."
Still, I mighty fine story & a personal favorite.
From the number responses this piece has drawn, I'd say, you're the one on fire Ms. Cormier!
There's a gorgeous lyricism to this that tugs at the heart and murmurs to the soul. I love your use of metaphor. Excellent work.
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you all so much. Your kind comments make me strive harder to improve my writing.
The images are so vivid and heart-breaking in this, Sandra.
I have to agree with Steve. I liked the repetition of the last line. It contained the piece, but with a double punch.
Oh, how often we lash out our anger at the wrong targets. This is a great portrait of an innocent victim of "someone's" unrest. Nicely written.
Sandra—Lovely work! I thoroughly enjoyed the poetry weaving through your prose, and I'm glad to see you here.
Touching and sad. My favorite bits: smoke the color of her eye shadow, and the image of her sari flying out behind her.
Nice imagery. Love the comet's tail line. Sad story, but powerful.
Sandra I love the language and the imagery here. That I am rooting for her to be saved from her burning palace shows that you did a fine job of drawing your character too. Very well done indeed.
The sadness really permeated the piece and defined it. Very well portrayed. Well written!
Congrats on Forties Club!
Post a Comment