Monday, July 18, 2011

Entry #61

Soul Survivor
by Dottie Taylor


Marco held his hand against the steaming glass, searing the flesh but it would heal. He was still alive.

The sun burned relentlessly those first days. He survived the blast by the grace of the unholy, confined as he was. His hunger spiked.

At three weeks, hunger made him take what he had never before, but the blood was warm. How long could he survive this way? How long before he was forced to seek the humanity he hoped had survived?

At two months, he could no longer stand the confinement. His blood stores long depleted, not even garbage rats scurried from their holes. His mind broken from starvation, the bloodlust rode him now.

As one sun fell below the horizon, the other burned, given birth by the blast. It held him in it's fiery flame. He kept to the shadows, slinking through the rumble, seeking movement of the living. Was he the last of any kind?

At five months, nothing was left of the thing he once was. Every expedition into the night scorched his skin. He no longer healed, feeding from his own body. Insanity and inhumanity were his only friends. He waited for the night when he no longer rose.
At one year, his skeletal body no longer cared if his flesh peeled away. He roamed endlessly, despairingly, yet undyingly.

At two years, the Earth was reborn with the first bud of life.

There weren't any eyes left to see it. He had plucked his out.

29 comments:

Precie said...

Brutal but expertly so.

Aimee Laine said...

Ewwwwwwwwwww! :)

Aniket said...

I love it!
If you're going for brutal and gory, better go all out. That's the way, I like it.

Last line was icing on a very dark cake. :)

SzélsőFa said...

i am left speechless, both at the eww-factor of this poetic composition and both at how well crafted the story goes, taking the reader in. wow.

SzélsőFa said...

oh and i returned to say that i loved the playful title as well!

fairyhedgehog said...

A very dark post-apocalypse!

j a zobair said...

Wow. Talk about a great last line!

Michael Morse said...

Everybody is looking my way wondering why I said "Ohhh!" out loud. At least they have eyes.

Joni said...

"by the grace of the unholy" makes me think he has made some sort of pact to remain immortal. I'm thinking he regrets that now. Vivid and desperate. I love it. Also, nice word play in the title.

Old Kitty said...

Oh my goodness, the last line just hit me!! Wow. It's bleakly atmospheric!! Wonderful, thanks for the read, take care x

Jay R. Thurston said...

A gruesome account of sanity-draining isolation. Well told, very real. You haven't by chance spent any time in solitary confinement, have you? JK.

phatichar said...

District 9 revisited! Awesome.

bluesugarpoet said...

Immortality is not so glorious after all. I love your dark take on this idea - creepy and ghoulishly wonderful! ~Jana A.

Linda Ryan-Harper said...

You could have written about burning a pan of biscuits and I'd be equally drawn in by your potent use of language.

Richard Levangie said...

Dottie: LOL... This scenario made my skin crawl! I think if you can do that with 250 words, you should be proud.

And I'd encourage anyone else reading this to visit your website... the disconnect is what made me laugh!

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

@ Precie Thanks, brutal is one of the emotions evoked when I saw the image, the negative of the hand.


@Amiee Lane LOL If I got you to shudder, have to say...kind of proud of that ewwwww... thank you!


@Aniket Hi Aniket! LOL I agree, never do anything halfway...if you're going for the gory, damn the torpedoes and fire away!

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

@SzélsőFa Thanks! LOL The title is a play on the words...not sure if the character actually has a soul....he is immortal, maybe he sold it? To steal a line from Richard... The devil is in the details.


@fairyhedgehog I tend to like the dark, easier to creep around, easier to hide ones true self.....


@j a zobair As I was looking at this image, I thought...what if I was the only one left, I wouldn't want to see that. So, he didn't. LOL

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

@Michael Morse Glad you ummmm.. enjoyed it? LOL I'm always saying things aloud I only meant to think. You know, that can get you in trouble sometimes...


@Joni Yep, an immortal...and what he needs to remain immortal (in a nice human like fashion) is what's no longer available. Instead he becomes the monster.


@Old Kitty (love your pseudonym btw) I wanted desperation, I think maybe I got it. LOL

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

@Jay R. Thurston Solitary confinement? Not really...but I do live in a small town...and we weren't born here, unlike 99.9% of the community (we've been outsiders for 22 freaking years, they still refer to my home by the last name of the people we bought it from) *head desk*


@phatichar Do you think so? Haven't seen the movie all the way through... got grossed out, lol.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

@bluegrasspoet I guess not, especially if there's no one left to share it with. Just when you think you have it all...


@Linda Ryan-Harper Glad you liked it, thanks! Odd though, the burning pan of biscuits was my original thought.


@Richard Tink is a minx, she playful, bratty, seductive, and on occasion, downright nasty, a true scoundrel. She's my babe! LOL Glad I managed to make your skin crawl, it's the object of the whole exercise, is it not?


Thanks everyone for their comments! So much fun to read everyone elses entries! I stopped by and managed to read everyone's... it makes the judging for readers choice so much more difficult, loved them all. All so original and thought provoking!

Until next time....

Dottie :)

Mikki said...

A poignant, powerful piece. Your imagery was excellent; disturbing though it was, I could see it unfold in my mind's eye. Fantastic use of emotion to tell your tale.

Thank you for sharing!

Anonymous said...

I love this angle. It reads like you've been contemplating a post-apocolypse vampire for a long time. Creepy and tragic! Well done.

hilary said...

This is a brilliant and very creepy tale. You look like such a nice girl too! Good luck in the vote.
H

Catvibe said...

Wow, a seering dwindle into utter darkness. Creepy! In a good way of course.

JaneyV said...

Dottie - this was uncompromisingly dark … and all the better for it. Extremely well written.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Brutal tragedy, what a tormented creature!

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

@Mikki Thank you! The prompt, for me, held an element of desperate emotion...and I let that flow into the piece. :)


@Anon Vampires are some of the richest creatures, both in the understanding of human emotion, and the lack there of... I never get tired of contemplating how they would exist...especially if humanity went away.


@hilary Looks are deceiving...look at Gary Oldman...who knew he could scare the hell out of a person with his creepy rendition of Dracula, lol.


@Catvibe Thank you! High praise coming from a long timer! I tend to like the dark. Short pieces can get very dark, lol.


@Janey Thanks! It is rather dark. Funny, when I first saw the prompt, I wasn't sure I'd be able to write for it. Then this popped into my head, and I immediately sent it in, before I could change my mind, lol. I don't usually write narrative, it's harder for me.


@Jade Yes, but the prompt 'felt' brutal to me. lol. It could have gone so many different ways as exhibited by the wide variety of pieces produced for this prompt. It amazed me!


Thanks again to everyone who stopped by...all your comments are valuable and for them, you have my gratitude. :)


Hope the next contest is as much fun!

Dottie :)

jason evans said...

I really felt his decay and isolation. You had a great vision for this story. I especially liked your sentence structure. Well done.