A Study in Scarlet
by Mystico
“More wine?”
He raised his eyebrows at me across the room. “What’s with that tone, son? Afraid I can’t take it?” He smirked, and traced his finger about the rim of the empty glass, the ring both a request and a reminder.
“Of course not. Right away.” Waving to Sybil, I bade her to collect one of our best bottles. After all, the fact that Dad would even deign to make the effort to visit me down at my place was a rare occasion in itself, and I hardly wanted to fall out again over a small issue such as drinks over dinner.
“You’ve acquired…quite a few more wrinkles since the last time we met, if you do pardon me saying so. Busy times at work?”
He raised a hand to his face with just a hint of self-consciousness. “Really?” I felt rather than heard my father’s sigh. “Oh well. Old age does that, I guess. I mean, what with global warming, crashing economies, and the crazy things world leaders get up to these days.” He glared over the glass at me. “No thanks to you, of course.”
I smirked, opening a window to look at the live feed from Libya, seeing the flashes of falling bombs, rifle reports, hearing the screams of the innocent. Placed my hand against the glass, a black patch against the crimson skies.
“I thought you loved them.” I whispered.
“Not enough to interfere.”
“Then…can I?”
“Come on. I’m not that old yet.”
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
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17 comments:
Hmmm ... well I read it 2x and am not sure what they are talking about though I can picture the scene and father and son(?) talking. That's probably just me though.
I read this one b/c it has the same title as the Sherlock Holmes story & I was curious. I am pretty sure it's God and Lucifer talking. It reads sort of as a riddle or joke. Pretty cool. Short and sweet!
I was thinking Zeus and Hades.
I like this one a lot. It just hit all the right chords. I love the accusation of the narrator ("I thought you loved them"), it succinctly captures the age-old conundrum of "if god loves us so much, why do bad things happen?" A bit of humor, a bit of heartache, a bit of philosophy. A huge homerun.
Well done, Mystico! Well done.
I was thinking Lucifer and his son... but I don't know... I'm left wondering.
Dottie :)
*is reluctant to leave you guys hanging*
This was written when I wondered is God ever called upon Lucifer for a chat. I mean, He did create Lucifer. A little man-to-man chat, is all. XD
Thanks for all the kind words! :D
i admit i had to read the comments for a full understanding, but now i reread again and managed to piece the bits together.
it's great!
:)
A well-constructed scene, regardless of who the characters are, but I'll admit, I like knowing who you pictured them as while writing it. A fascinating thought.
Well, there is that little bet placed on Job between God and Lucifer. Although, Lucifer's visits to humans is the stuff of great literature such as Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, dialogue between God and the devil is quite an ambitious theme for a piece of flash fiction...well done...I particularly like that Satan remembers God enjoys a good glass of wine—and true to his nature, he gives God a subtle accusatory tone, "More wine?" Great nuance there.
I was puzzled until I read the comments. The scene setting is great and I enjoyed the dialogue despite my confusion.
"I hardly wanted to fall out again" - great line! I like how you've played with this idea. The ideas are subtle at first, yet really jump out at me upon a second read. Nicely done! ~Jana
The Devil is in the details! I think! LOL! Oh very very good! Enjoyed this, wicked story, thank you. Take care
x
I love this look into the intricacies of that relationship. What a unique take.
Thank you for sharing!
The wine quote gave me a hint, but in the completely wrong direction --
Thought of Jesus' 1st miracle of water to wine...
But then re-read and saw the snarky bits and sly dialog.
Nicely done!
Mystico: I think this is a wonderful entry for tight writing, a sense of humor, and dialogue that pops!
Thanks for entertaining me so well in 250 words.
Mystico - I got the god/devil reference as I read. I like the way you made Lucifer initially seem far more sympathetic. Is all the death and destruction he has wrought on the world just the act of a child trying his best to get the attention of a disinterested parent?
I think you did a very fine job here.
I don't think I've had an entry like that before! Fearless. A great take on current events. Solid writing too.
Congrats on Forties Club!
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