I Obsess You
by Sivasankari Ranganathan
The crazy mind,
Has a mind of its own,
It's on its way,
to an enchanting pathway,
Devoid of instructions.
The darkness is bewitching,
I can neither stop myself,
From drowning further,
Nor allow my mind to be engulfed,
By the bewitching darkness.
As i step in deeper,
My heart flutters,
And beats crazy,
Forcing a breath after the other.
The charmed eyes,
Is hungry for more,
It looks for your charm,
Through the colossal web.
All this noise around us,
Makes me wish i had your hand in mine,
Ignoring all the delirium around us,
With the haunting melody you make.
My feet taps,
When you sing,
My desire heightens,
When i catch your bewitched tunes.
My lips quiver at your mention,
The intemperance is bewildering.
I sometimes wish,
Silence was as bewitching as the darkness.
This bewitched mind is on its way to you,
In the bewitched darkness.
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Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
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17 comments:
My favorite line is:
"I sometimes wish silence was as bewitching as the darkness."
It's a notion you can ponder for a while.
Obsession is a scary thing. :)
yeah, it could be scary, Aimee, but for me, that was dispelled in the opening: [the crazy mind...] on its way to an enchanting pathway, Devoid of instructions. In a cliche of "crazy love," the road would be rife with destruction...and plenty of instructions: maps, rope, duct tape. No, the obsessed in this may be lovesick, but not pathological....Or am I being naive? After all, the first time I read it I was ready to think of it in the vein of the Song of Solomon...but, that's about two lovers (you don't need to read it as an allegory)...and this is one who is driven to love another regardless of any reciprocation...and maybe that isn't so crazy after all—oh, shut up, Linda—
Oh, all right, but first let me say that this is really, really good...
I love the title "I Obsess You" in place of "I Love You" because ya know obsess is way stronger than love. I am bewitched.
Dottie :)
I loved the title...and I liked the opening lines...great prose...
nice work i must say
I don't read poetry. I don't like poetry. Poetry is not my thing.
I really really like this.
Ta very much.
You haven't converted me but I really really like this...for what my anti-poetry opinion is worth.
Ta very much...4D
Very nice. Interesting that you paint obsession as a tortured limbo...stuck in between. Nicely done.
"the crazy mind...devoid of instructions...bewitched." Nicely knitted piece. I like the use of repetition - it echos and reinforces the idea. ~Jana A
I love the use of "bewitching/ bewitched/" - like obsession is truly being put under some dark magic spell by a witch! Thank you for a very chilling poem! Take care
x
Wow. Several words and themes called out to me here: bewitched, ensnaring the mind, darkness, the lowercase use of the pronoun "i". There's a dark undercurrent to this piece, tugging the reader into the darkness, ensnaring their mind, bewitching them through until the end. Excellent work.
Thanks for sharing!
You had me with your opening lines. :-)
OMG!!!
this is beyond awesome.
i submitted the post and forgot to recheck.
all your comments got me flying up in the sky.
It will take me some time to get down back again ;-)
Thank You all so much!
Obsession is perhaps scary but when youre in love, there's always an obsession, fatal or not is another story.
Thank you all again, this certainly means alot and it feels like i've won something already! :) :)
I nearly wept when, in one line, you used both it's and it's correctly. The style of this made me happy, even if the subject matter isn't particularly so :)
I like how atmospheric and dark your piece is. well done.
The close focus of the obsession really comes across well. Almost a tyranny of thought.
thank you guys! :)
much appreciated!
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