Monday, August 15, 2011

Disorientation



They stopped on the forest trail and stared ahead. After a minute, they glanced back.

"I'm confused."

"Me too."

They stared some more.

"I know this trail."

"Me too."

"I know every part of it. I know the spot where we're standing."

"I know."

"But I don't know that." He pointed ahead where the trees reached taller and darkened. The trail dipped down out of sight. "There's nothing like that on our land."

"Could we have gotten turned around? Maybe we wandered off the wrong way."

"No. No way."

"I just--"

"I know this trail. I know where we turned onto it. I know every step we took from the cabin. I could walk this in my sleep."

"Still, we don't walk this particular one all the time."

"It doesn't matter. I've walked it plenty. I know it."

They stared some more. His hands were planted on his hips.

She looked up. "Did the sun just go in? It seems darker."

"But there aren't any clouds."

"And colder."

"Forget about that. Let's just go back."

"But that's where we're going! Ahead!"

"No. Not anymore. Let's circle back the way we came."

They turned around to face the other way.

She gasped.

"That's not where we came from," she said.

"Jesus."

"That wasn't there a minute ago."

"I'm seriously getting freaked out," he said.

"It's even darker. And colder."

"Does the sky look purple to you?"

A branch snapped to their left. A huge animal with a bristly blue coat stalked toward them. It had white wavy teeth.

Their necks tilted back as it approached. It towered at least fifteen feet high.

Some sort of growl rumbled low in its throat.

"RUN!"

8 comments:

Mona said...

O dear! I would hate to be in a situation like that!

Kunnu said...

Did they ran fast enough? :D

Kunal

Jackie Jordan said...

In their panicked dash for their lives from the beast, which way do they run - back from where they had come or to an uncertain, unclear destiny? I’d choose the uncertain path ahead and bear in mind that I don’t have to run fast, only faster than my friend.

the walking man said...

I guess they should have never gone into the woods without some form of protection yet even though there is an implication of violence, unless it kills one of them then *shrug* it may just be lost and also looking for a way home.

Never assume violence until it presents itself and never be unprepared to defend your life when it does. Besides how is one supposed to outrun something that big? Better to stand and take the submissive position until you get your chance to strike.

Just a Detroit lesson.

Lee said...

This would be a good time to have a Hover board!

Bruce Roush said...

The fear of being lost and without direction came through so very well as we all have probably been there. Do we really need a "beast" at the end of the story?

jason evans said...

Mona, it's based on a real moment of disorientation. The forest can do strange things to your brain.

Kunal, I don't think so....

Jackie, so very true! Perhaps the faster one is still jogging.

Walking Man, you're right. Running is often just the precursor to getting taking down.

Lee, they would have been better off staying home that day.

Bruce, I've been lost in the woods more than once. I know what that rise of anxiety feels like. As for the ending, no story element is needed per se. My vision for this piece was a much more dire form of being lost.

SzélsőFa said...

i liked how you kept the tension growing. yet i found the ending of the scene somehow funny... :) i expected they woke up or something...