Saturday, December 24, 2011

Philadelphia (In Old City on Christmas Eve)

A winter hush blanketed Philadelphia.

I sat in Washington Square ringed by brick and colonial windowpanes. Few walked the night, and my breath feathered in clouds.

Once, this ground interred yellow fever victims.

I thought about them.

And generations disappeared.

I turned to see the spirit of the City next to me. A face of cobblestones. Eyes of jewelers' clocks. Forgotten streets lined its old overcoat.

It watched the orange lights. People in warm houses. "I like the feel of them," it said. "But no one sits here with me anymore."

The hush deepened.

Ice crackled.

"I will," I said.

(This 100 word story (exactly) is part of Loren Eaton's shared storytelling for Christmas Eve. Check it out!)


Aidan Fritz said...

Gorgeous imagery. This reminds me a lot of Sydney and probably many colonies with the harshness of life leaving many ghosts. I like the upbeat ending.

B. Nagel said...

There is so much history in our cities and towns and villages that so often goes un-noticed.

Michelle Davidson Argyle said...

I really like the descriptions in this! This is one of my favorites so far.

Donna Hole said...

Loved the ghostly return of the old city. And the descriptions were so unique; vivid. This was a delight to the senses.


Vesper said...

"I thought about them." Yes... a very poignant piece, Jason.

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones!

Linda Ryan-Harper said...

Ho-ho-ho! Philly in winter—I can almost feel the crunch of icy cheese steaks beneath my feet. Merry Christmas, Jason, from a former Delaware Valley girl— and to all a good-night!

Lee said...

Forgotten streets lined it's old overcoat. Great line. Merry Christmas to you and yours from Cali ~.

SzélsőFa said...

wow, i was about to ask whether you are participating or not, Jason. and now i see you do - and how you do, too.
great visuals here. i like how the senses play their roles.

wv: tually - as ACtually :)))

SzélsőFa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SzélsőFa said...

btw, i failed to understand whether this 100 word story is a contest, or participants just send in their entries and the fun comes from reading...?
i wrote, posted and emailed my story too, a day later, though :(

(also, i failed at the grammar of my previous comment. where i wrote 'you are participating' one should read 'you were participating'.)
i guess.

Craig said...

You have captured the feeling of loneliness perfectly. Excellent job.

strugglingwriter said...

I very much liked this Jason. Very well done. Great imagery.

Thank you also for the comments you left on my blog about my entry. Much appreciated.

Loren Eaton said...

This is so very poignant, Jason. Beautiful and sad and full of a sense of place. I love it. Makes me want to visit Philadelphia (which I've never done).

jason evans said...

Aidan, I'm sure the places have many similarities.

B. Nagel, very true. It is lost to the passage of time.

Michelle, many thanks! I'm very much enjoying this winter tour of the macabre. Your story included.

Donna, sometimes the aggregation of all that history does seem potent enough to walk and talk.

Vesper, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. :)

Linda, ah, you know these cobblestone streets!

Lee, I hope you and your family had a wonderful, warm time. :)

Szelsofa, not a contest. Just an invitation to share. I like that part of it. Thank you for the kind words!

Craig, I hope that a potent mood permeated. Thanks for saying so!

Strugglingwriter, I was glad to share stories with you!

Loren, that is much appreciated feedback! Those are elements that I most want to achieve in my writing. I want people to really feel the atmosphere of the scenes. Thank you for hosting such a wonderful event!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I could see the words... Love it when that happens. Beautiful.


Vesper said...

Happy New Year, Jason, Aine and all your loved ones! May 2012 bring you all what your hearts desire. :-)