The Earth's primordial flavors drew him
Lashed with divinity's soaring grace
Her body wrapped to consume his hunger
And cradle his precious face
He rode the tidal waves pounding through her
Clutching to match her abandoned pace
And when her gasping eruptions thundered
He preyed on her shrieking place
The whirlwind drained from the frenzied willow
Emptiness seeping from where they flew
And where a drop of her life blood landed
A burgundy primrose grew
(And he said: will you come if I call?
Darkness erodes every distance
And nighttime conquers us all.)
--The End--
Go back to Part 7.
11 comments:
oh jason,, that was the most vivid of culminations... bravo!!!
Oh My! (she said furiously fanning her flushed cheeks)!
Jason, thank you for this wonderful poem. It's been a great journey into the immortal and this was certainly a fitting climax.
This series needs to go in your book...
;)
Any words I choose suddenly seem like limp, incapable things. The ending--wow.
Yeah...just wow.
The perfect ending, Jason. I can only echo what Sarah said. A few words of comment can't do justice to this entire work.
"A burgundy primrose grew"
....so beautiful
You really have a way with this type of writing Jason; not an easy genre to tackle.
This was truly a fitting ending to the entralling journey you've shared with us...Well done!
www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com
I see I am not the only one speechless at the moment.
Holy Moly! That was awesome and incredibly sexy without being one bit sleezy. That's art! Wow! I seem to be blushing quite alot reading your blog lately. Whew! Do it again! :o)
Paisley, glad you enjoyed it! I realize this poem was a bit of an indulgence on my part. I'm happy that it came together.
Janey, thank you! I liked the folk tale-ish ending. The whole thing was organically written.
Aine, someday I'll figure out how to bring these different things into line. :)
Sarah, those words speak volumes. :)
Billy, I've always wanted to do one of these narrative poems. It was more of a fun process than I expected.
Geraldine, this style did pose certain challenges. If I'd written it whole, I think I may have experimented with some kind of refrain to break up the parts.
Beth, thank you. :) If this turns out to be a memorable piece, then I'm a happy man.
Ello, yes, it's not easy to be really erotic without crossing into erotica. What a fine line! I'm glad I stayed on the polite-society side for this one. =)
I love the burgundy primrose - nice touch :-)
I look forward to taking some time to read all the parts in sequence now. You have outdone yourself with this one, well done.
Well done!
An exceptional piece of writing and wonderful to read.
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