Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Entry #18

Footprints
by Jerilyn Dufresne


George hitched his hips to a more comfortable position, and put his hands behind his head as he lay in the tall grass. “Did you ever notice,” he said to his brother Denny, “that we never get clouds that look like cute little animals, or damn cartoon characters.”

“Quit cussing,” ordered Denny. “You know God hears you, and you’ll make Jesus cry.”

“Anyway, look. See those two dark clouds up and to the right from the sun?” He felt rather than saw Denny’s nod. “They look like footprints—malevolent, and scary as hell.”

“Quit using big words unless you’re going to tell me what they mean.”

George loved showing off his knowledge to his younger brother. “Malevolent is from the Latin. ‘Mal-lay,’” he exaggerated the Latin pronunciation, “means ‘evil’ and ‘volo’ means wish. So ‘malevolent’ means someone that means you harm.”

“So the devil is malevolent?” Denny asked.

“Yep, I guess.”

“Well, if those footprints are malevolent, and the devil is malevolent, then those must be the devil’s footprints.”

As gifted as George was, he hadn’t yet taken logic, so didn’t know how to refute his brother’s reasoning.

“Could be, I guess,” George hedged.

Denny continued, “And those white clouds kind of look like when the pond is full of ice, but it’s not quite frozen all the way.”

“Yeah, and…”

Denny sat up. “This is history, George. You and me. We’re witnessing hell freezing over right in front of our very eyes.”

“Damn!” said George.

“Yep,” Denny replied.


[Jerilyn Dufresne doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up. Currently she does disaster mental health work, performs comedy, and writes.]

38 comments:

Jim said...

I like the light, comedic feel to this one. Which of the two is smarter? ;-)

linda said...

Are we all running out to look at the sky?

Scott said...

Funny and informative. Crisp and entertaining.

robert rohloff said...

Light-hearted! I like it!

Jer said...

Thanks, everyone, for your kind comments. Jer

k lawson gilbert said...

Oh, this is great. It was like I was sitting out on the grass with the brothers...You made it come to life with your dialogue.

Bonnie Cehovet said...

I loved this story! Perhaps it will even happen one day. ;-)

Robert Ball said...

This story almost makes me wish that I wasn't an only child. Great brother to brother dialog, and a nice overall story.

Jer said...

Thanks, Lawson, Bonnie, and Robert. Maybe the sibling dialogue rang true because I'm the oldest of nine kids. :)

anne frasier said...

heeeh! loved it, jer!

i read it again, and i'm still smiling.

nice pace and balance. good job!!

Jer said...

Thanks so much, anne. Those words mean a lot to me, especially coming from you.

Jaye Wells said...

Jer I really like it. The only think that was distracting was I imagined them being less than twelve and wondered how a kid that age could translate the Latin origins of malevolent. I mean I could do it at that age but...

Great job@

Jer said...

I could too.

And I pictured these kids a long time ago, like in the 1950s or so. That's why I put in the piece about making Jesus cry, because I haven't heard that since I was a little kid in the well... 50s. :)

Joni said...

Love the banter and the conclusion the boys come to. I couldn't translate any latin origins at age twelve, nor do I think I could now. You've got me beat. Great story.

Jer said...

Thanks, Joni. The only reason I knew a little Latin was that, even though I couldn't be an "altar boy" in those days, I helped train them. And I wanted to know what we were saying, so I did a little studying.

Deb said...

Great creativity Jer! Loved the story...you are an awesome work of our Lord and Savior! Have a great day and keep those imaginative juices flowing...

Bernita said...

Cute and clever.
Made me smile.

Jer said...

Thanks, Deb and Bernita.

Lisa said...

Very cute! Loved this one!! Wonderfully imaginative!

Jer said...

Appreciate the comment, Lisa.

Anonymous said...

Jer,

I didn't know to scroll down so I could leave a comment before.
Funny thing, when I read it the first time, my glasses were foggy I guess. I wondered why George "bitched his hips"
Two brothers with a special relationship. Very cool says pheebs.

Jer said...

Thanks, Pheebs. Good to see you here. "Bitched his hips" indeed. :)

Linda Fort-Bolton said...

Sorry, I didn't finish my comment.
I really liked your story.
I liked the part "we never get clouds that look like cute little animals." That is why I said: Are we all running out to look at the sky.
I really need to read what I write.

Jer said...

Quite all right, Linda. I thought it was a cute comment on its own.

Bhaswati said...

What a take on the image. You sure know how to tell an entertaining tale, Jer. What a pleasure it was reading this!

Bofire said...

You learn a lot about a person by reading their blog.
Your life and your writing appear to be interwoven.
Great story. Lighthearted but a lot of meaning. I enjoyed reading it.

Jer said...

Thank you, Bhaswati and Bofire. Your comments made my day.

Nicholas Abbot said...

This kind of humor is right up my alley. Thanks for bringing me a smile.

Jer said...

My pleasure, Nicholas. Glad you enjoyed it. Jer

Kelly Parra said...

Awesome dialogue, Jer! Good job!

The Wandering Author said...

One of the neatest little comedies I've read in a long time.

Jer said...

Thanks so much, Kelly and Wanderer. Am going down the list reading everyone else's and I've noticed a few other comedic turns. Love it. But I do think I'm the only one who turned the moon into a sun. Duh! What was I thinking? Guess I'll pretend I did it on purpose. Yeah, works for me.

anne said...

Oh I so love the last lines! :)

briliantdonkey said...

I really enjoyed this Jer. Loved the light heartedness of it. Thanks for the story.

BD

Jer said...

Thanks, Anne and BD. Don't you just love Jason's contests?

Amin said...

Jer, just fantastic.

What a fantastic piece of comedic logic - hell freezing over. Just great. After reading several dark stories on here this one, which sounded like it would be dark, really lit up my evening.

Thank you.

Jer said...

My pleasure, Amin. Thanks.

jason evans said...

Loved the end. Damn is right! It's not every day you get to see hell freezing over. High marks for pacing and technical use of language.