Thursday, November 08, 2007

Entry #14

Just Another Monday Morning in Hell
by Angelique H. Caffrey


The flames were high and the clouds blood-red as Satan drove his hybrid to work.

“Any news, Mabel?” he asked his wiry, red-haired assistant after putting away his trident.

“Nope,” she announced. “But you do have a ten o’clock with Stalin.”

“Damn.” Satan sighed. “He’s a pain in the ass.”

Mabel nodded, idly fingering her demon-themed earrings, last year’s Secretary’s Day gifts. “Yeah. But what are you gonna do?”

Satan grinned and shrugged. He liked Mabel. She had slaughtered three husbands and one repairman by using kitchen utensils. A blender here, a cheese grater there. Mabel was one of the few people he trusted.

“Has Lizzie returned my calls?” he asked.

“Naw.” Mabel rolled her green eyes. “What a bitch. I wish you’d give her ‘the axe’.” She smiled wickedly.

Satan roared with laughter. “Mabel, you’re such a ‘cut up’!” His piercing eyes danced with joy.

They howled.

A persistent rapping at the door interrupted their delight. Satan and Mabel exchanged quick glances. “Stalin,” they said in unison.

“Shit.” Satan desperately needed a skinny latte, not a dialogue with the washed-up dictator. “Mabel, tell Stalin I’ll see him tomorrow. I can’t deal with him today.”

“Gladly,” she said. “And if case he gets pissy, I always have this…”

The newly-polished corkscrew gleamed under the fiery sky.

Satan hugged her warmly, singeing her eyebrows. “You’re the best.”

Mabel pushed him away. “Get to work, you devil!” She turned her radio up.

“Stairway to Heaven”. Again.

Just another Monday morning in Hell.

26 comments:

Jaye Wells said...

I love it! One of my favorites so far.

Sarah Hina said...

Congratulations. You made me like Satan. ;)

I love your humorous take on this picture. It's good to know Hell isn't all that different from the office. Really great!

Jerry Allen said...

Damn...after reading the first three, Im sure to lose...LOL. I love this one!

Angela said...

Very evocative; good job.

SzélsőFa said...

Oh, yes, hell must be just like an average office here on Earth...I get the idea :))

Bernita said...

I also howled on reading this.
Delicious take.

sandra said...

You got me at the title, had me chuckling all the way through. Great job!

wrath999 said...

Humorous, unique and a very enjoyable read. Gongrats!

c.s. said...

this is really funny to the bone and mind. excellent!

Church Lady said...

Creative and funny!
Loved it!! So glad I'm not in the office anymore....

The Anti-Wife said...

This is fabulous. Very original and funny.

Wavemancali said...

This is one where you want to write more of it after you've read it. I kept on thinking of things to add to your fantastically funny work.

Great job.

Beth said...

Really funny. Reminds me of the new show "Reaper" and their take on Hell with all that fun instead of gnashing of teeth.

The Quoibler said...

Hi, all!

Thanks so much for the positive feedback... it's been one hell of a rough week (pun intended) so the support is greatly appreciated!

I get a kick out of writing stories heavy on dialogue but I never know if the humor is going to "hit home" or not.

I actually wrote a piece about Death on my blog a few months back (http://recessforwriters.blogspot.com/2007/08/living-each-day-as-if-it-were.html).

I'd enjoy feedback if anyone is up for more reading after all these fabulous entries!

Angelique

Beth said...

Angelique, can you leave that link at my blog? I can't get it to cut and paste. I'd love to read it!

mutleythedog said...

I think Satan works at my place... great funny writing!

Hoodie said...

Angelique, you clever thing. First time I've been enchanted by Satan. BRAVO! I love it.

Thérèse said...

Ha ha ha! Hilarious! I really liked this one! :)

desiderata said...

devilishly humourous. If hell is such fun, who needs to meet the 4 or 5 people in heaven that Mitch Albom commends?:)

Ello said...

Damn it! Now I know I have no shot! This was awesome!

SzélsőFa said...

Congratulations, Angelique!

The Quoibler said...

I'm seriously shocked by this. And hey... it's Monday morning... how ironic! :)

Thanks, everyone. This makes my day! Gobble, gobble!

Angelique

Shameless said...

Well done. Well deserved honour! It was light relief amongst lots of darkness! :-)

the individual voice said...

Totally hilarious, every single line of dialogue. Congratulations, you devil, you!

Church Lady said...

This was freeeakin' funny!!

Congratulations!!

jason evans said...

Oh man, I really enjoyed the comedic tone of this. Not too avante garde. Comfortably funny in its absurdity. Great!

Congratulations on the honorable mention and winning the Readers' Choice Award!!