Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Entry #56

Rustling in the Wind
by Puresunshine


She kept her promise. She reached the place, however, 20 minutes late. Impatient. Anxious. Excited. Sue looked at her shiny blue wristwatch again. The cool breeze played with her soft curls and she looked beautiful, even at 36. She did not have a number to call Ron at. She didn’t know whether he carried a phone on him at all. He hated cell phones, she remembered.

Oh Ron! I so want to meet you, she told herself looking all around, sitting comfortably under the tree. It looked so proud but seemed to tell her a story about itself. Tall. Majestic. Sad. It was staring at the sky as if searching for something or guessing the shape of clouds, maybe, something Sue often did.

She looked at her bare fingers. She and Ron would have been married if all had not gone wrong. It had been 8 years and she has not been able to forgive herself. She felt her trouser pocket and held on to the ring she had brought for him.

Thirty minutes had passed...

“Sorry I’m late. Have you been waiting for long,” said a voice behind Sue. She turned to look. Ron had a smile on his face, as always but he looked different. He was wearing a black cassock and a cross.

Sue paused for a while and got up to give him a hug, letting the ring slip away.

She understood the tree’s story. It was as alone as she was.

19 comments:

JLB said...

I like how this piece stretches out a moment of realization in the company of a tree. I love how so many folks have incorporated conversations with trees in their stories! :D

Beth said...

Nicely done.

Veggies.... said...

This was one of my favorites. Great story!

puresunshine said...

@jlb-thanks so much. I often talk to myself. Wrote about it on my blog too. It was the most natural thing i could write

@beth-thanks beth

@veggies-:) :) :) THANK u!

BernardL said...

Enjoyable read.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

This is a great story. I like the detail that she let the ring slip away.

Sarah Hina said...

Oh, what a devastating conclusion! I really felt her eagerness, and that disappointment.

Nicely written, puresunshine. :)

Aerin said...

I'm so, so sorry, but I had to giggle when she saw his cassock. I think I could do that because you wrote her so well, in that she wasn't devastated. Good, strong, woman, disappointed, and she's going to move on. Great!

puresunshine said...

@bernard, @marcia-glad u liked it

@sarah-isn't real life so much like this. Unexpected.

@aerin-i think she did not have a choice. Rebelling wudnt help. Moreover, i dont think she cud express so much in 250 words, right jason? ;)

puresunshine said...

*cud not

SzélsőFa said...

what a painful surprise and disappointment. I like the natural feeling to it, and the way she handles the truth.

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

This is beautifully done, PureSunshine. You hold the reader close to the story the whole way through so that by the end, one feels the disappointment as keenly as the character does. Really well done!

wrath999 said...

Great job kept reader intriqued

paisley said...

very nice.. i wonder how it is she never knew...

puresunshine said...

Thanks all.paisely-she wasnt in touch and didnt knw, i gues... :)

bluesugarpoet said...

Searching...a story about longing and being unfulfilled. I like how it's not just a human condition; the tree, too, searches. Nicely done.

puresunshine said...

@bluesugar- thnks so much! :)

jason evans said...

A bitter disappointment at the end for her. Well told!

Aine said...

How could she have not known? Love so often overlooks the details. Perhaps now she'll learn to see others as they are, not as she wants them to be. I feel for her disappointment.

Nice storytelling!